Full Price Range Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for full price range comic strips. Discover the best "Full Price Range" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #must delight customoers, #stop price gauging, #stop selling defective products, #talking about customers, #delighting customers, #empathy

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The Boss sits at the head of the conference table. He says, "It's not enough to 'serve' our customers..." The Boss continues, "We must DELIGHT them!" Alice asks, "You mean we have to stop price-gouging?" The Boss replies, "No, I think we can still do that." Wally raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh!I know!" Wally continues, "We could stop selling products with known defects." The Boss shouts, "I'm talking about products, not customers!!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and asks, "Do you feel like delighting customers?" Dilbert replies, "I barely have the empathy to pity them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accepting bribes, #vendor, #golf lessons, #trip to veags, #price sheets

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Carol sits between the Boss and Catbert. Catbert scolds Carol, saying "BAD!" while the Boss says, "Carol, you can't keep accepting bribes from salespeople who want access to me." Carol replies, "Didn't a vendor just take you on a golf trip to Vegas?" The Boss says, "That is so-o-o!" Carol replies, "Let's compare price sheets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #padded cost estimates, #co workers, #cost etsimates, #inaccurate data, #half full glass

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Boss and says, "I gathered all the padded cost estimates from the liars and scoundrels I'm ashamed to call co-workers." The Boss replies, "That's okay. I usually ignore our cost estimates and make bid proposals that I think will win." Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert says, "I gather inaccurate data for a living. Luckily no one uses it." Dogbert replies, "Your glass is half full."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #i.t function, #outsource, #save money, #corporations, #full time employees, #reaplce, #panic, #warning sound

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The Boss points to a slide and says, "We'll save money by outsourcing our I.T. function." The Boss continues, "Then we'll save more money by replacing our outsourcing with full-time employees!" Wally responds, "When it's time for us to panic, will there be a warning sound, or was that it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone not working, #short range, #same room, #tv remote control

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The Boss stops Wally and Dilbert in the hallway and asks, "Why isn't my cell phone working?" Dilbert responds, "That's a short-range cell phone. You need to be in the same room with the person you call." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. The Boss has his phone up to his ear. He thinks, "Answer the stinkin' phone, Alice." Asok asks, "Why are listening to a TV remote control?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #casino for morons, #concept, #court room, #Dogbert, #gaming commission, #ratbert, #room full dolts, #jury, #legal

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Headline: Gaming Commission. Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting at a table. Dogbert says into a microphone, "My concept is a casino exclusively for morons." Dogbert continues, "Imagine a room full of oblivious dolts, and I'm taking advantage of them for personal gain." A woman on the commission asks, "When would that concept begin?" Dogbert replies, "About a minute ago."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

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"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new server, #condescending simple version, #full technical explination, #early covislaizations, #no concept of zero

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The Boss: Tell me why you need a new server. and don't give me the condescending simple version for managers. I want a full technical explanation. Dilbert: Early civilizations had no concept of zero. The Boss: Go on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #easy financing, #price gouge, #leasing advice, #paying, #products

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: "You should offer your customers easy financing." "That disguises the true cost of your products so you can price-gouge and people will thank you." "How much are we paying you?" "I'm leasing my advice to you." "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #opyomotrist, #nears sighted visonaries, #nerve expect worst, #charge price

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I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"