Glass Half Empty Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

236 Results for Glass Half Empty

View 51 - 60 results for glass half empty comic strips. Discover the best "Glass Half Empty" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scan, #document, #ask, #favor, #important, #scanner malfunction, #hope, #empty candy jar, #hopeless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can you scan this document for me?" Carol says, "Is it important?" Carol says, "If it isn't important, you shouldn't bother me. If it is, the scanner will malfunction." Dilbert says, "Is there no room for hope?" Carol says, "I keep mine in this empty candy jar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attend meeting, #request, #busy, #meet halfway, #not showing up, #half of life

View Transcript

Transcript

wally, can you attend my meeting friday? wally: Im very busy, but I'll meet you half way, what does that mean in this context? wally: they say half of life is just showing up. so...you will be .... wally: Doing the other half.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empty brain, #stress, #word knowledge, #past the filters, #mantra, #lindsay lohan, #britney spears, #paris hilton

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: My brain is empty. "It feels great!" "Stress is just another word for knowledge." "Wait a minute. How do I know that?" "GAAA!!! Something got past the filters!" "Must...Do...Mantra..." "Lindsay Lohan...Britney Spears...Paris Hilton...Ommmmm." Dogbert: "Are you all good now?" Ratbert: "Have we met?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #reincarnation, #snicker part, #half man, #half snack, #studied guided reincarnation, #shape shifting, #indian institute, #technology, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Asok died in a work-related accident. His disaster recovery plan was to reincarnate into his own clone." "You are his clone, but your DNA got mixed up with a snickers bar. You are doomed to walk the earth as half man, half snack." "Rrrrr" Asok: "Phew! It is lucky I studied guided reincarnation and advanced shape-shifting at the Indian Institute of Technology."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #better deal, #coworkers, #hike jacket, #lunch, #miser salad, #paying half, #respected colleague, #steaks

View Transcript

Transcript

WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #great leader, #hires good people, #no budget, #micromanaging, #half wits, #afford, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cosmetics, #relations between the sexes, #awful smell, #new fragrance, #pepper spray, #half gym sock, #dual purpose, #odiferous moat, #weaker applicants, #tweak

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's that awful smell? Wally: My new fragrance. It's half pepper spray and half gym sock. It has a dual purpose. The pepper spray is so I can build up an immunity to it. Dilbert: That'll probably come in handy someday. Wally: Right? The second purpose is to crate an odiferous moat around me to discourage the weaker romantic applicants. Carol: Unh!!! Wally: I might need to tweak the formula.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #competition (psychology), #start up, #pay half, #stay or go

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.

Alice Should Network With Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch-22, #sexism, #Women, #sexist, #attraction, #success, #glass ceiling

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.

Asok Upgrades His Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Upgrades His Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.