Great Products Comic Strips - Page 6

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483 Results for Great Products

View 51 - 60 results for great products comic strips. Discover the best "Great Products" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal department, #products, #highly defective, #user specification, #ate letter, #hugely defective prodcut

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The Boss: "Our legal department advises us to destroy any documents that show we know our products are hugely defective." "CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP, CHEW, CHEW, GULP." Alice: "Do you have room in there for the user specifications?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy rich, #new product, #rebate, #1 million, #banking on forgetting, #great bargain, #one person

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Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #products saftyproblem, #murderer, #killer, #swallowed a squirrel, #scone

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Ask: "Alice, if I fail to blow the whistle on our product's safety product, I will be like a murderer!" Alice: "No, technically you'd be more like a killer, you wuss." Asok: "My guts feel like I swallowed a squirrel." Alice: "You have totally sucked the flavor out of this scone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety

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Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #easy financing, #price gouge, #leasing advice, #paying, #products

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: "You should offer your customers easy financing." "That disguises the true cost of your products so you can price-gouge and people will thank you." "How much are we paying you?" "I'm leasing my advice to you." "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resume, #stole stuff, #great stuff, #caught in parking lot, #technically not stealing, #buried german tourust, #guilty, #crazy, #admits to bizarreness

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The Boss: "According to your resume, you left your last job because you allegedly stole lots of great stuff." "Technically, if they catch you in the parking lot, and you give it back, that's not stealin'." "And you buried a German tourist in your cellar." "One time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #great opportunity, #multi level marketing, #bible, #diet plan

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"Hey, Dilbert! How would you like to go to lunch?" "Alone." "Alone! Ha ha! but then you'd miss out on this great opportunity!" "It's multi-level marketing plus a diet plan suggested by the bible!" "Shoot me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great design, #big seller, #attractive, #honor flaw, #functionality, #sex crimes, #accuses user, #cute

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"Product designer" "The new product is selling like crazy, thanks to it's great design." "Sales" "It's so attractive that people over look its minor flaws in functionality." "For example, it accuses the user of sex crimes whenever company comes over." "And it's cute!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretaries (office), #increase work productivity, #yammering, #salted earth, #great plan

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Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #great managing, #engaged, #disengaged, #praise and recognition, #encourage developement, #important job, #opinions count, #prodcutivity, #drop dead, #learn and grow

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Wally: Here's a list of the twelve elements of great managing. If you do everything on that list, it will make me feel what experts call "engaged." If you fail to do your job properly, I will feel all disengaged and do poor work. This would be a convenient time to give me some praise and recognition. You might also want to encourage my development and tell me my job is important. Remember to care about me as a person and tell me my opinions count. If you do all of that, plus seven more things on the list, you might get some productivity out of me. Boss: Leave my office and drop dead. Wally: Will that help me learn and grow?