Guards To Document Comic Strips - Page 6
163 Results for Guards To Document
View 51 - 60 results for guards to document comic strips. Discover the best "Guards To Document" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 25, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert reads a document and says, "Dogbert, I sold the rights to my anti-gravity invention. I get to keep half of the 'net.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what 'net' means." Dogbert responds, "Net is what you land in after you find out you get no money and jump off a ledge." Dilbert asks, "What if there is no net?" Dogbert replies, "It's gross."
Share June 04, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert and the Boss walk out of the Boss's office. Dogbert says, "My fee for business consulting is $200 an hour." The Boss says, "Fair enough." Dogbert says, "I'll spend the day questioning your employees to identify problem areas." Later that day, Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert reads a document and says, "It's unanimous. They're underpaid and all the problems are your fault, 'Lard Head.'"
Share June 14, 1991's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I'm discontinuing the employee drug testing program . . ." The Boss shows Dilbert a document and says, "Because my own tests keep turning out positive . . . Which makes me suspect that some wise guy has tampered with the medical computer." Dilbert says, "Denial and paranoia . . . Classic symptoms." Wally asks, "Is he 'high' right now?"
Share July 22, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to enter the stand-up comedy competition next week." Dilbert reads a document and continues, "The rules seem pretty straightforward . . . Five minutes per person . . . The first minute is freestyle comedy." Dilbert continues, "The remaining time is for the mandatory categories: Dan Quayle, flatulence, and the warning labels on mattresses."
Share October 16, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. An Elbonian says, "Your Highness, I have drafted a basic bill of rights for all Elbonians." The man shows Dogbert a document and continues, "We demand the right to dress potatoes like our favorite celebrities!" Dogbert reads, ". . . The right to collect string . . . The right to make armpit noises." The Elbonian says, "It's the first draft."
Share January 03, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table on which four elves are standing. Dilbert reads from a document, "We the elves make the following demands . . ." Dilbert holds up a fly swatter and asks, "Wouldn't it be funny if I just slapped your pointy hats flat?" The elves walk away wearing flattened hats. An elf says, "I cannot believe what passes for funny around here."
Share January 10, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert, the Boss and two people sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I don't know why we even bother holding meetings on Friday afternoons . . ." Dilbert continues, "I mean, everybody is brain-dead by now. Is this really productive?" A woman reads a document and says, "Hmm . . . Productive? . . . Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm too late."
Share January 14, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands in the door under a sign that says, "Dogbert's Jail for the Rich and Famous." A man carrying a briefcase says, "Checking in." Dogbert sits at a desk reading a document and the man sits across from him. Dogbert says, "Your record says you stole three billion dollars from investors." The man laughs. Dogbert continues, "I guess you've learned your lesson." The man looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! Looks like my jail term is almost over!"
Share March 02, 1992's comic on:
Ratbert says to Dogbert, "The poll results are in." Ratbert reads a document and continues, "You still have low name recognition outside of the living room . . . But some guy in the kitchen thinks he's heard of you." Ratbert continues, "Don't be discouraged, uh . . . Uh . . ." Dogbert yells, "Dogbert!"
Share March 01, 1993's comic on:
A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, I'm Tim Zumph, writer of the famous memo of February third, 1978 . . ." Tim continues, "I remember it so clearly. My boss walked right up and said 'Nice memo, Tim.' And it wasn't even time for my annual performance review." Tim shows them a document and says, "I still keep a copy with me." Wally points at the memo and says, "Typo . . ."