Search Results for "guess"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #sadistic plot, #different objectives, #staus report, #staple himself

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert peers over the wall of Wally's cubicle and says, "Guess what, Wally." Wally says, "What sadistic plot has HR come up with now, Catbert?" Catbert shows Wally an org chart and says, "We're giving you a real boss plus a 'dotted line' to another boss who has different objectives." Catbert continues, "The status reports alone will take forty hours a week." Wally opens a stapler and says, "I'm gonna staple myself to death."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #whales, #modest, #prince of wales, #squid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is scuba diving under the ocean. He photographs a whale and a squid. Dilbert thinks, "Wow! These pictures will prove that whales try to communicate with squids!" Back at home, Dilbert says, "Dogbert, guess who I saw talking to a squid." Dogbert asks, "Who?" Dilbert replies, "I have prints of whales." Dogbert thinks, "The Prince of Wales?" Dilbert says, "It's too bad I'm so modest. This discovery could make me famous." Dogbert thinks, "The public must be told." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. A television newscaster says, ". . . And in the news, a local man has witnessed Prince Charles talking to a squid." Dogbert says, "Maybe Chuck thought it was Margaret Thatcher."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #love is the air, #picture window, #love cheurb, #love with wrong persoon, #stupid cupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, "My instinct tells me that love is in the air." There's a loud crash behind them. Dilbert and Dogbert walk to the window where a little angel sits on the floor in a pile of broken glass. The angel says, "Whoa! Who put the picture window there?" Dogbert says, "You must be the legendary love-cherub, 'Cupid.'" Cupid replies, "Good guess . . ." The angel continues, "But the proper pronunciation is 'STupid,' not 'Cupid.'" Dilbert says, "No wonder I always fall in love with the wrong person." Cupid struggles with his bow and arrow. He says, "Now how does this gizmo work?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #invitation, #bother, #courtesy, #hosts, #blitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert stand in the hallway of a couple's house. The man says, "We're so glad you guys could stop by." Dilbert replies, "Thanks for inviting us." Dogbert thinks, "We hardly know them." The woman says, "I'd offer you some coffee, but that would be a bother." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . None for me. Thanks." The woman says, "I noticed you didn't bring any food as a courtesy to your hosts. I guess we'll eat when you leave." The man says, "We usually watch television now, but I'll try not to appear bitter about your visit." The man and woman sit in chairs while Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor. The man asks, "Why haven't we done this sooner?" Dogbert replies, "We thought you were scum."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #coders, #email, #incorporate specs, #meetings, #relevance, #spam filter, #wireframe, #wise counsel

View Transcript

Transcript

Based on a true story Coworker: I completed the wireframe and passed it off to our coders. Dilbert: That's great. Did you incorporate all of my specs? Coworker: I didn't see any specs from you. Maybe my spam filter ate your email. Dilbert: No problem. I'll resend them and you can start from scratch. Coworker: Yes, I certainly could do that. Or I could ignore your input, enjoy my deep feeling of accomplishment and hope for the best. Wally: That sounds easier. Coworker: I accept your wise counsel, Wally. I guess your search for relevance marches on.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #man, #used car, #salesman, #car, #came, #negotiation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a customer, "I can let you have this one for five thousand." The man says, "Three thousand." Dogbert replies, "No, but I could sell THAT car for four thousand." The man says, "Thirty-five hundred." Dogbert replies, "Sold." The man says as he drives away in the car, "I guess you don't get a lot of negotiators like me." Dogbert says, "It's the first time anybody bought the car they came here in."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #shared laser printer, #apollo space mission, #wally invented cursor

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally presses a button on his keyboard and thinks, "Gotta hurry. One . . . two . . . three . . ." Wally runs out of his cubicle and thinks, "I have twelve seconds to get to the shared laser printed." As Wally peers around the corner, Alice and Dilbert stand at the printer reading copies of Wally's resume. Alice says, "Guess who saved the Apollo 13 space mission." Dilbert says, "Did you know that Wally invented the cursor?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #lying in sun spot, #net worth, #remains, #laughter

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on a file cabinet while Dilbert works at his desk. Ratbert says, "Yesterday I was lying in a sun spot thinking about how you work, work, work but your net worth remains constant." Ratbert throws his head back and yells, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dilbert looks angry. Ratbert says, "Well . . . I guess you had to be there."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #layoff list, #Wally, #claimed chair, #few minutes ago, #hard on survivors

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Wally, "I hear you're on the layoff list, Wally. Has anyone claimed your chair yet?" A man says, "I claimed it a few minutes ago." Ted yells, "Liar!" As the two men fight, Wally says, "I guess it's true what they say about layoffs being hard on the survivors."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #year 2000 problkems, #computer problems, #head spun, #dint explode, #left money, #table

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Here's my invoice for fixing your 'Year 2000' computer problems." The Boss screams so loud that Dogbert is thrown from the office. Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, ". . . So his head spun, but it DIDN'T explode?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. I guess I left some money on the table."