Guest Cartoonist Comic Strips - Page 6
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63 Results for Guest Cartoonist
View 51 - 60 results for guest cartoonist comic strips. Discover the best "Guest Cartoonist" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 31,
2016
What The Family Would Think
Tags #work ethic, #interview, #lying, #deception, #commitment, #honesty, #guest artist, #donna oatney
Transcript
Man: If you hire me, I will dedicate 100 percent of my energy to making this company succeed! Dilbert: What would your family think if they heard that? Man: They'd understand. They're all huge liars, too.
Friday April 01,
2016
Random Number Generator
Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney
Transcript
Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.
Monday April 04,
2016
How To Send The File
Tags #brenna thummler, #cloud, #files, #guest artist, #options, #sharing, #technology
Transcript
Ted: Can you send me the file? Dilbert: Do you want it by email, Dropbox, Google Drive, iCloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud? Ted: Surprise me. Dilbert: The surprise will be if you find it.
Tuesday April 05,
2016
Ted Never Got The File
Tags #blame, #communication, #responsibility, #technology, #guest artist, #brenna thummler
Transcript
Ted: I never got the file you said you would send. Dilbert: I don't know what file type you want. Ted: Why didn't you ask? Dilbert: Why didn't you check your email and see that I did? Ted: Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me? Dilbert: Why don't you drive into a ravine?
Wednesday April 06,
2016
Ted Has A Ravine Option
Tags #cruelty, #empathy, #hr, #human resources, #mean, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.
Thursday April 07,
2016
Ted Is Not That Dumb
Tags #joke, #mean, #bully, #insult, #death, #idiot, #idiocy, #stupid, #dumb, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #medical
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.
Friday April 08,
2016
Commemorating Ted
Tags #ravine, #meanness, #insult, #idiot, #guest artist, #brenna thummler
Transcript
Carol: We're having a get-together to commemorate Ted, who drove his car into a ravine because you said he should. Dilbert: He wasn't good at handling criticism. Carol: You could have been more constructive. Dilbert: By building a bridge over the ravine?
Saturday April 09,
2016
New Ted
Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business
Transcript
Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.
Monday May 23,
2016
Self Empowered Week
Tags #honesty, #aspirations, #work ethic, #standards, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.
Tuesday May 24,
2016
Boss Can't Be Your Friend
Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.