Half Above Comic Strips - Page 6

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162 Results for Half Above

View 51 - 60 results for half above comic strips. Discover the best "Half Above" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #center, #universe, #described, #terms, #relationship, #brain

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've decided to be the center of the universe." Dogbert continues, "All of the things in the universe can now be described in terms of their relationship to me." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a rock. Dilbert says, "I don't understand why you're doing this." Dogbert replies, "That's because your brain is only a half-Dogbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #billion, #dollars, #earnings, #projections, #level, #donuts, #meetings

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company is a billion dollars below its earnings projections." The Boss continues with his mouth full, "From now on, only the managers at my level or above may eat donuts at company meetings." The Boss continues, "This won't be easy for any of us. Heck, I don't even know if I can eat this many donuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #engineers, #shun, #assigned, #budget, #pounce, #moment, #hypothetical, #electricity, #alice, #Wally

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Dilbert thinks, "The other engineers shun me because I'm assigned to work on the budget." Wally covers his eyes as he walks by Dilbert and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "They know I could pounce any moment and asks inane hypothetical budget questions." A man covers his eyes and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert asks a woman, "What if you only had half as much electricity next year?" The woman covers her eyes and says, "Too late. I shunned you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #computer, #middle ages, #the plague

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert sits on the desk. Ratbert says, "Sometimes I think I'm not reaching my full potential as a rat." Dilbert replies, "You're right. In the Middle Ages, disease-carrying rats wiped out half of the human population of Europe." Ratbert says, "I think I've got a little temperature. Feel my forehead." Dilbert says, "Face it, your glory days are past."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #Politics, #taxes

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Do you realize the government takes half of all the money you make?" Dogbert continues, "And the majority of people are too young to vote, or didn't bother to vote, or voted for the loser. . . . And nobody alive voted for our constitution." Dilbert replies, "It's never good when you have these insights." Dogbert says, "I've decided to levy my own tax on people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #engineers wuit, #the goal, #reduce headcount, #smart people leave, #organize pot luck

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Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

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CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #computer program, #spelled wrong, #colons, #collen, #ass

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The Boss: "I saw the code for your computer program yesterday." "It looked easy. It's just a bunch of typing. And half the words were spelled wrong." "And don't get me started about your over-use of colons." Dilbert: "They remind me of you, sir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #donate blood, #good for society, #too comepetetive, #thirsty

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Wally and a man stand in line at the blood drive. The man says, "I don't mind donating blood . . . It's good for society . . ." The man continues, "But I'm worried that our company is getting too competitive about how much we give compared to other companies." Dilbert leaves the blood drive saying, "Man, I'm thirsty!!" His head and body have shrunk to half their normal size.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #invite yourself, #meeting, #split donut, #ratbert at meeting, #no experience in marketing, #advised, #business

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Ratbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I didn't get the job in marketing. They say I have no experience." Dogbert responds, "Try inviting yourself to meetings. Nobody ever says no, and they're too timid to kick you out once you sit down." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert stands on the table next to a box of donuts and says, "Does anybody want to split a donut? I'll just take half and leave the rest."