Happiness Advice Comic Strips - Page 6

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269 Results for Happiness Advice

View 51 - 60 results for happiness advice comic strips. Discover the best "Happiness Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #at party, #camera advice, #engineer, #physical, #wally dressed as engineer, #engineering

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Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #processor load, #took advice, #laser pointers, #light sabers

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "Our breakthrough came when we distributed the processor load." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. Asok raises his arms and exclaims, "It's about time that you took my advice! Hallelujah! Good for you!" Dilbert says, "If laser pointers were light sabers, you'd be looking for your torso." Asok responds, "Ha ha! You're using my joke! Good one!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everyones opinion, #Advice, #best job, #crazy ideas, #mental, #psychology

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The boss: "I'll get everyone's opinion, and then I'll make my decision." Alice: "Translation: you'll take the advice of whoever does the best job of trash-talking everyone else." The Boss: "Where do you get these crazy ideas?" Dilbert: "She's mental."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #can't buy happiness, #expensive possessions, #pople envious, #tarde happiness for money, #whacked

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Dogbert: "Bob, remember that money can't buy happiness." Bob: "But it can buy expensive possessions that make other people envious, and that feels just as good." Dogbert: "And you can pay to have people whacked." Bob: "Can I trade my happiness for some money?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weapon, #plane, #stand for rights, #Advice, #jail, #complainy

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Dogbert: "You should smuggle a weapon on the plane." "And never, ever return your seat to its upright position! Stand up for your rights!" Dilbert: "I've noticed that all of your advice would put me in jail." Dogbert: "Why must you be so complainy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #easy financing, #price gouge, #leasing advice, #paying, #products

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: "You should offer your customers easy financing." "That disguises the true cost of your products so you can price-gouge and people will thank you." "How much are we paying you?" "I'm leasing my advice to you." "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manipulate, #lying, #Advice, #mayo clinic, #victim to source

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Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #problem, #valuable advice, #stare at screen, #death, #gather data, #blinded by obvious, #medical

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The Boss: Try working around the problem. Dilbert: "Thank you for that valuable advice. I had planned to stare at my screen until I starved to death." The boss: "Gather data before making a decision." Dilbert: "GAAA! I've been blinded by the obvious!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advice for cousin, #carerradvice, #dilmon, #frustrated work environement, #scratch out meager living

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Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #final report, #big changes, #too cowardly, #change names, #Advice, #behind back

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Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert, Wally, The Boss and Alice are at a meeting. Dogbert presents a report. Dogbert says, "This is my final report." Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm recommending big, big changes..." The Boss reads the report. Dogbert says, "Because I know you're too cowardly to implement them." Wally says, "So...It will be our fault if nothing improves." Dogbert says, "Exactly." The Boss is excitedly reading. The Boss says, "AAAGH!! We can't do all of this!" The Boss says, "Couldn't we just change the names of all our departments?" Dogbert says, "Those imbeciles! How dare they ignore my advice!" Wally says, "You're supposed to say that to us behind our backs later." Dogbert says, "I'm in a hurry."