Help Comic Strips - Page 6
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424 Results for Help
View 51 - 60 results for help comic strips. Discover the best "Help" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 02,
2018
Spare Time
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday August 15,
2018
How Dilbert Can Help
Tags Dilbert, project, criticism, option, boss, worthless
Transcript
Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.
Sunday October 14,
2018
Tags carol, Wally, computer, problem, crumbs, crosstalk, protocols, help
Transcript
Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.
Tuesday October 23,
2018
Award For Cutting Costs
Tags ceo, award, cutting, costs, department, underfunded, losers, awards, help
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.
Tuesday February 19,
2019
Helping Ted
Tags engineering, frustration, help, office, office workers
Transcript
Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!
Monday September 09,
2019
Scourge Of Teamwork
Tags help, insults, office workers, work, teams
Transcript
Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.
Saturday October 26,
2019
Self Reliant
Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant
Transcript
boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?
Saturday November 16,
2019
Help Me With Something
Tags office workers, compensation, system, incentive, budget, limit, smart, business
Transcript
male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.
Monday April 13,
2020
Wally Will Be Right Back
Wednesday June 24,
2020
Wally The Generalist
Tags office workers, sarcasm, technology, generalist, subject, matter, expert, help
Transcript
Tina: wally, can you help me on this? wally: no, i'm more of a generalist than a subject matter expert. tina: what kind of work do generalists do? wally: you just saw it.

