Highly Paid Engineers Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

393 Results for Highly Paid Engineers

View 51 - 60 results for highly paid engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Highly Paid Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #existential problem, #dilbert reconciling work, #paid, #salary, #what do for money, #flick fingers, #get paid, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #never time lunch, #men are early, #upgrading pcs, #paid off, #effieciency, #hungry, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice walks over and says, "Why is it that I never have time to eat but you MEN are in here every day at 11:35?" Wally replies, "Because the hours we spent upgrading our PCs have finally paid off by greatly improving our efficiency." After Alice has left the table, Dilbert says to Wally, "I thought it was because we get hungry at 11:30?" Wally replies, "We can't reveal all our secrets."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #relocate russia, #hire engineers, #weed out dumb, #like heaven

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #divide check, #engineers, #unpopular subsidy, #water, #13%, #tip amount, #questionable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and another man sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert looks at the check and says, "We could simply divide the check by three . . ." The waitress thinks, "Uh-oh. Engineers." Dilbert continues, "But that would result in an unpopular subsidy of Wally's salmon. Does anybody have a calculator-watch?" The caption says, "Hours later." The other engineer says to the waitress as she approaches the table with a pitcher, "This is the tie-breaker round of water to decide if you get 13% or 13.5%." The waitress growls, "RRRR."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional team, #admore, #vocalize admiration, #leathery skin, #right from left, #get paid, #admire co workers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like everybody to turn to the right and say what you admire about that person." The Boss turns to Alice, who is on his left, and says, "I admire your leathery skin, Alice." Alice responds, "I admire your ability to figure out which side is your RIGHT in only two tries." Dilbert faces Dogbert on his right and says, "I admire your ability to get paid for this." Wally says to Dilbert, "Despite the fact your face scares children, I admire your co-workers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #benchmark, #world class companies, #compare, #verbs, #nouns, #assign, #engineers, #field research, #pointy haired idioits

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys have any pointy-haired idiots running your place? . . . Would you like one?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #charge time, #marketing, #reprogram, #compuetr, #radiation, #alter dna, #possible, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer. An employee peers around the door of Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Ha ha! Now that the engineers must charge their time to marketing, we OWN you!" Dilbert replies, "I'll just reprogram your computer through the LAN so its radiation will alter your DNA." The employee asks, "Is that possible??!" Dilbert responds "As far as you know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #uses program, #marketing, #prodcut, #urrelevant, #engineers, #same as marketeers, #sitting in cave, #rocks are edicble, #recipes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Stan in marketing works at his computer while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "Everybody in engineering uses this program I wrote. I think marketing should turn it into a product." Stan replies, "I wouldn't buy this." Dilbert tells Stan, "That's irrelevant because the target market would be engineers." Stan says, "Engineers think the same as marketeers." Dilbert replies, "If that were true we'd be sitting in a cave trying to decide if rocks are edible." Stan points to the computer and says, "You know, you could keep recipes on this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert treks tna, #tech writer, #technical writing, #word processing, #highly skilled, #communications professional, #inert thoughts, #staff meeting, #org chart, #secretary meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks Tina, "Is technical writing the same as word processing?" Tina replies angrily, "No!!!" Tina continues, "I am a highly skilled communications professional! I can take jumbles of inert thoughts and bring them to life!!" The Boss enters and says to Tina, "My secretary is running the staff meeting. I need you to retype this org chart." Dogbert comments, "The doctor is in!"