How To Do Your Job Comic Strips - Page 6
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1000 Results for How To Do Your Job
View 51 - 60 results for how to do your job comic strips. Discover the best "How To Do Your Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags #work, #existence, #happiness, #fulfillment, #frustration, #job, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday December 15,
2016
Asok Has Worst Job In The World
Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.
Saturday February 25,
2017
Wally Is Born For The Job
Tags #legacy, #system, #laziness, #perfect job, #goals, #ambition
Transcript
Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.
Saturday July 22,
2017
Bad At Your Job
Tags #managers, #instructions, #directions, #insubordinate
Transcript
Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.
Monday July 30,
2018
Grant Application
Tags #job, #job description, #responsibility, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.
Saturday July 20,
2019
Job Has No Meaning
Tags #employees, #employment, #job, #salary, #meaningful
Transcript
Dilbert: My job doesn't have meaning. Dogbert: If your employer added meaning to your job, would you agree to a cut in pay? Dilbert: No. Dogbert: I guess we just found the economic value of "meaning".
Sunday February 02,
2020
Knowing What Wally Does
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #job, #projects, #expectations, #heuristics
Transcript
boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.
Tuesday March 17,
2020
Hiring Morons
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical
Transcript
boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.
Tuesday March 24,
2020
Passion
Tags #office workers, #business, #live, #parents, #passion, #job, #match, #career, #porcelain, #frog, #fault
Transcript
office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?
Saturday April 18,
2020
Great Job For Someone
Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid
Transcript
dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.