Human Cloing Comic Strips - Page 6
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Character
317 Results for Human Cloing
View 51 - 60 results for human cloing comic strips. Discover the best "Human Cloing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 27,
2004
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #been excessed, #yoga move, #rageful comments, #hope for a hug, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say..." "I will tear the flesh from your bones!" "Phew! I love that yoga move." "There is like, no hope for a hug, right?"
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Monday May 03,
2004
Tags #80 hour week, #crazy talk, #less work, #loofah, #evil director, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.
Monday July 19,
2004
Tags #hairball, #stock options, #evil director, #human resources, #bous system, #kindness of management, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.
Wednesday August 11,
2004
Tags #human resources, #sow the seeds, #discontent, #massive disloyalty, #riots, #disloyalty, #business
Transcript
The boss: "Send the salary spreadsheet to Human Resources." "Don't let anyone else see it. That sort of information could sow the seeds of discontent." "We'd have massive disloyalty, fights, vandalism, maybe even riots."
Saturday August 28,
2004
Tags #suspicious, #nap, #evil director, #wellness program, #human resources, #business
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."
Monday August 30,
2004
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #cubicles, #open plan, #special class, #transition, #invisible walls, #business
Transcript
CAtbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: cubicles are too expensive. we're moving to an open plan, You'll attend a special classy to ease your transition. Wally: its like he's in a cubicle with invisible walls!
Wednesday September 01,
2004
Tags #scientits, #unethical scientits, #human clone, #infomercial
Transcript
Dogbert: My wealth - building system has been verified by actual scientists. Dogbert: where can I find an unethical scientist? And if Im to busy, my human clone can do your infomercial. Dogbert: good prices.
Tuesday October 12,
2004
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #good news employee, #trunover, #scented kitty litter, #downhill, #quality, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources
Saturday November 27,
2004
Tags #complain, #joke, #human rsources, #psychologically damaged, #empty shell, #always been, #hungry
Transcript
"Wally, did you complain to human resources about my off-color e-mail joke?" "Yes. I was psycologically damaged by your mirth. Now I'm an empty shell of a man." "You've ALWAYS been an empty shell of a man!!!" "This is making me hungry."
Saturday December 18,
2004
Tags #submit, #resume, #misguided optimism, #human will see resume, #email parents
Transcript
Click Submit" to post your resume on the jobs web site." "Now sit back and enjoy the misguided optimism that someday a human being will see it." "Be sure to tell your parents that you looked for a job today." "I'll e-mail them."