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87 Results for Hundred

View 51 - 60 results for hundred comic strips. Discover the best "Hundred" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2006's comic on:


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Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist "I need a hundred billion to build an ocean city on barges." "Take my money!!! Take it, take it, take it!" "Do I get stock or something?" "How about an insincere wag?" Insincere wag! $ $

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #secretaries (office), #mindless and repetetive, #task, #spur creativity, #creative person, #dispose of body, #snide, #snarky

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Boss: Experts say that doing mindless and repetitive tasks is a good way to spur creativity. That means you must be the most creative person in the office. Did you come up with any ideas? Carol: Yup. So far, I've come up with over seven hundred ways to dispose of your body.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #golden rule, #test your rule, #hypocrite, #engineer, #hatred, #hypocricy, #manipulate, #engineering

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Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation

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Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #business, #plan, #revenue, #excitement, #hair, #money sign

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Vijay, the world's worst venture capitalist Dilbert says, "A hundred million people need this type of service." Dilbert says, "I already built the website and people are signing up." Foop! $ Vijay says, "When we negotiate my equity stake, focus on my poker face and not my optimistic hair." Yeeha!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #presents, #giving, #nerdy, #Funny, #coffee, #bank, #bathrobe, #holiday

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Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas. Here?s a hundred bucks." Dogbert says, "And here's a hundred bucks for you." Dilbert says, "We could save another step by setting up an electronic transfer with an annual recurring option." Dogbert says, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Or we could not give gifts." Dilbert says, "Hush your crazy talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #seminar, #teach, #make millions, #scam, #seminar name, #crush hopes, #dreams, #bitter and broken, #nominal fee, #invest, #100 to one million

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Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo's meeting, #boos, #Dilbert, #status on technology, #platform migration, #nothing to hide, #100 drunken clowns, #beed in their underpants, #decline in morale, #pretending tow ork, #get fired, #hide things

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CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #no rasie, #oo many questions, #can't do job, #saved emails, #policies and procedures, #misperception, #buy software, #permission, #emails, #another question

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The boss: "I can't give you a raise because you ask me too many questions." "That's a sign that you can't do your job." Dilbert: "I anticipated your misperception and prepared for it." "I saved all of my e-mails and matched them to your policies and procedures." "For example, this is your e-mail saying we need your permission to buy software." "And here's my e-mail asking if I can buy some software." "Should I run through the other seven hundred documented examples?" The Boss: "There you go asking another question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2007's comic on:


Tags #presdient, #first 100 days, #carve name, #furniture, #switzerland

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"If you are elected president, what will you do in the first hundred days?" "I figure it will take me at least that long to carve my name in all the furniture." "Then it would be time to wipe that smug smile off of Switzerland's face."