Idea To Eliminate Comic Strips - Page 6
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360 Results for Idea To Eliminate
View 51 - 60 results for idea to eliminate comic strips. Discover the best "Idea To Eliminate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 21,
1999
Tags #cat bert, #evil, #eliminate traces, #individuality, #computer wallpaper, #helium
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "In order to eliminate all traces of individuality..." Dilbert reads, "All computer wallpaper must be the same." Dilbert thinks, "What next?" Catbert thinks, "In theory, with helium, the employees would all sound alike."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday September 30,
1999
Tags #internet business idea, #sent idea, #five companies, #space
Transcript
The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."
Tuesday October 19,
1999
Tags #reduce budget, #project is vital, #eliminate, #funny part
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, who is seated in her cubicle, "Every department was asked how it could reduce its budget by ten percent." The Boss says, "Your project is vital to the future of the company, so I cleverly offered to eliminate it, knowing they couldn't accept." The Boss says, "Now this is the funny part..."
Monday March 13,
2000
Tags #idea, #change department name, #engineering, #similar idea, #marketing, #done, #business
Transcript
Wally explains at a meeting: "My idea is to change our department name from engineering to..." He continues: "e-engineering." Wally says: "I'm working on a similar idea for marketing but it's not done yet."
Friday January 19,
2001
Tags #exactly man, #sell ten million, #idea won't work, #idea makes better
Transcript
THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Randy, looking at a piece of paper, says to Dilbert, "Your idea won't work. No one would buy this kind of product." Dilbert says, "We already sell ten million of these per year. My idea just makes them better." Randy exclaims, "Exactly!!" and Dilbert thinks, "?"
Wednesday March 21,
2001
Tags #bowling alley, #dumb, #dumbest idea, #going someplace, #not happy, #take charge men, #going somewhere
Transcript
A woman, walking with Dilbert, says, "I like take-charge men who just say, 'C'mon, we're going someplace." Dilbert says to the woman, "C'mon, we're going to the bowling alley!" The woman says, "That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard." Dilbert says, "I think I see how this works."
Saturday November 03,
2001
Tags #eliminate vacation days, #increase sick days, #make themselves sick, #evil, #hr
Transcript
Headline: Asok works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "If we eliminate vacation days and increase sick days..." Catbert continues, "Would the employees fall for our trap and make themselves sick to get days off?" Asok exclaims, "What?!!" Catbert says, "You're in H.R. now. It's okay to be evil." Asok replies, "Evil, right."
Monday December 31,
2001
Tags #morale boosting, #great idea, #first meeting
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, I want you to help me put together a morale boosting event." Carol responds, "Great idea. And after that maybe I can do CPR on a mummy and see if I can save its life." The Boss responds, "Our first meeting will be Tuesday." Carol exclaims, "Do you hear what I'm saying?"
Friday July 12,
2002
Tags #temporary boss, #revamp, #project staus, #color codes, #confess, #only one idea, #emabrrassing
Transcript
Wally addresses a meeting, "My first act as temporary boss is revamping our project status color codes." Wally points to a slide and says, "Red, yellow, and green will be replaced by white, off-white, and eggshell." Wally continues, "I have to confess, it was embarrassing to realize I only have one idea."
Monday August 19,
2002
Tags #billion dollar idea, #sweet mother, #owns your ideas, #fire you, #then sue you, #always hardest
Transcript
Asok says to The Boss and Alice, "Sweet mother of potatoes! I just thought of a billion-dollar idea!!" The Boss responds, "The company owns all of your ideas. Cough it up or I'll fire you and then sue you." Asok and Alice are walking together. Asok cries, "Waaa!" Alice says, "Your first billion-dollar idea is always the hardest."