Idiots In Accounting Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for idiots in accounting comic strips. Discover the best "Idiots In Accounting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #new ceo, #trailer park, #burglar, #mergers, #acquisitions, #accounting, #wallet and watch

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The Boss introduces a man outfitted in a burglar suit, holding a sack. The Boss says, "This is our new CEO, Rufus T. Skwerrel. His first job was trailer park burglar. The Boss continues, "But thanks to a series of mergers and acquisitions, not to mention suspicious accounting, here we are." The Boss asks Rufus, "Would you like to say a few words?" Rufus pulls a knife out on Asok and says, "Wallet and watch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting trolls, #profits, #worst case scenario

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Headline: Accounting Trolls. The Boss hands a troll a document and asks, "What would happen to our profits if we wrote off these bone-headed mistakes?" The troll's head explodes, "Pow!" The Boss asks, "And how about the worst-case scenario?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make changes, #no credibility, #idiots, #phone call, #boss offcie

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Dilbert: "I told Matthew that there was no way we could make those changes." "Ring." The Boss: "Hi, Matthew!... Yes, of course we can make those changes; we're not idiots! Ha ha!!" Dilbert: "He says you have no credibility."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting system, #profitable, #manage randomlt, #claim success, #funding, #hug

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"Our accounting system is so inaccurate that we don't know how profitable anything is." "It's so bad that you could manage randomly and claim success no matter what happens." "I was looking for funding, not a hug."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting, #expense figures, #base ten, #counting system, #full range, #odds and even, #hp printer ink, #finance troll

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"Accounting" "Can you explain these expense figures?" "It's a base ten accounting system with a full range of odd and even digits." "This isn't helping." "Tastes like hp printer ink... high gloss paper, four hours old."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting depot, #travlke expeses, #copies of receipts, #need originals

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The Accounting Department "I can't process your travel expenses because you sent me copies of receipt. I need the originals." "I'm busy. Just fax them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talk like idiots, #slap lipstick, #deliverable, #actionable, #underpaid

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Ratbert: Let's talk like idiots. Bob: Ha ha! You go first! Ratbert: Slap lipstick on the pig, put a stake in the ground, and view it from 30,000 feet. Bob: That deliverable is actionable. Ratbert: Wait... why do I suddenly feel like hiring you? Bob: And why do I feel underpaid?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #honesty, #low margins, #make money, #extended warrantees, #idiots, #forgetful, #take advantage

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CEO Investor Call CEO: Our margins are so low that we gave up trying to make money that way. Now we make all of our money selling extended warranties to idiots who will forget they bought them. Woot-woot! Guess what the margin on that is! Ha ha! Dilbert: It's okay. We don't let him connect to the outside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proofread, #technical document, #acronyms, #change, #misread, #bullet points, #idiots, #story, #pet, #wag tail, #dog, #stories, #sit on rock, #outside, #jacket, #animals

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Dilbert says, "A technical writer misinterpreted the acronyms in my draft technical paper." Dilbert says, "But that's okay because my pointy-haired boss will turn it into content-free bullet points and show it to idiots." Dogbert says, "I like stories with lots of idiots in them." Dilbert says, "Glad to help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication skills, #training, #class, #stand on stool, #idiots, #pairs, #coworker

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Communication Skills Training Dogbert says, "Today you will learn how to listen to idiots without snoring." Dogbert says, "Break into groups of two, with one idiot and one non-idiot in each pair."