Interview Qiuestions Comic Strips - Page 6
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wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,
A man says to his wife, ". . . We should at least interview him. Nobody else even answered our ad for a babysitter." The woman says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Frankly, Bob, we're concerned that you might try to eat the children." Bob replies, "Well, of course, in that case there would be no charge for the evening." The husband says, "He's more than fair."
Dogbert stands in front of a television camera holding a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People." Dogbert continues, "Tonight we'll visit people who don't understand economics but talk about it anyway." A man says, "So, I heard the Fed increased the money supply, but I checked my bank balance and it's the SAME as before." Another man says, "That isn't fair."
Dogbert sits at a desk counting bags of money and humming. Dilbert says, "A news crew is here to investigate your television healing scam." Dogbert sits in a chair across from a reporter and a tv camera. The reporter says, "Explain to our 40 million viewers where the money actually goes." Dogbert replies, "Send those checks to Dogbert, post office box . . ." The reporter thinks, "Maybe I phrased that wrong."
A television talk show host says into the microphone, "My guest for today's show is Dogbert, author of the one-page book, 'Unmarried Men are Scum.'" The host says to Dogbert, "Your theory is that all unmarried men should be jailed for life, thus ending most crime." Dogbert replies, "Exactly." The host asks, "What if they try to beat the system by getting married?" Dogbert replies, "Serves 'em right."
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. A newscaster says, "The tiny nation of Elbonia erupted in civil war." In Elbonia, a television reporter holds a microphone toward two Elbonians and asks, "What caused you to turn your weapons on your own people?" One Elbonian asks, "Weapons? We can use weapons?" The other Elbonian puts his hands on his hips and says, "Well, no wonder it was taking so long."
Dilbert sits in his cubicle holding the phone. The voice on the phone says, "To hear your urgent voice mail message press one . . . " A voice on the phone says, "This urgent message is to all employees. Please disregard the rumors of a merger with a healthy company." Dilbert looks out of his cubicle and sees co-workers running in every direction. One man yells, "Resume!" Another cries, "Where's my interview suit??!!" Dilbert thinks, "Now spooked, the herd stampedes."
Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, ". . . Therefore, Curly must have been the smartest of all the Stooges." The telephone rings. Dilbert answers the phone and shouts, "I won WHAT?!!" Dilbert picks up Dogbert and cries, "I won the lottery! We're millionaires, Dogbert!!" Someone knocks on the door. Dilbert opens the door to a news reporter and a television camera. The reporter says, "Global News - may I interview you on your sudden wealth?" The reporter shoves a microphone in Dilbert's face and asks, "What would you like to say to the entire planet?" The caption says, "The wealth had come quickly . . ." Dilbert stammers, "Er . . . Um . . ." The caption says, "And just as quickly, it was gone." Dilbert says into the microphone, "Drinks for everybody!"
Tina the Tech Writer and Dilbert sit in Dilbert's cubicle. Tina says, "At the risk of dying from boredom, I must interview you for the department newsletter." Dilbert says, "Let me give you some background before I talk about my project . . ." Tina ignores Dilbert and writes, "'The project is good,' quipped the engineer." Dilbert continues, ". . . So there I am in my mom's Fallopian tube . . ."
Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."