Search Results for "invisible to coworkers"
Share July 30, 2002's comic on:
Wally says to The Boss, "Over the past year, most of my coworkers have managed expensive projects that failed." Wally continues, "I've done nothing but drink coffee. So on an economic basis, that makes me your top performer." Wally takes a sip of coffee and says, "Watch and learn."
Share August 13, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert observes Alice and records, "The females of the group do all the hunting. The one I call Alice stalks her prey." Alice is angrily typing an email, "Grrrrr." Dogbert continues, "She pounces. Her razor-sharp words tear the prey to shreds." In another cubicle, a coworker has been burnt and is emitting smoke. Other coworkers lean over the cubicle wall and laugh. Dogbert thinks, "The results are gruesome. Only the hyenas are laughing."
Share October 02, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice says, "My project is being stalled because my nitwit hates my ogre, and my #$&%! won't do any work." Dilbert responds, "My ogre ate my nitwit and my #$&%! is trying to blame me for it." Alice asks, "Do you want to borrow my nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have a requisition in."
Share February 17, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is in a meeting. His coworker's cell phone rings. The coworker says, "Excuse me while I take this call." Dilbert replies, "Okay." Just as the coworker is about the answer his phone, Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I hate your inconsiderate guts." The coworker turns away annoyed and says into his phone, "No, nothing important." Dilbert continues, "Excuse me while I imagine crushing your head."
Share June 21, 2004's comic on:
Share March 24, 2005's comic on:
Tina: "How can you think that the software integration project is a waste of time??!" Dilbert: "I don't.' "But if history is my guide, you will abuse the next hour of my life by insisting that I defend your misunderstanding of what I think." Tina: "So why do you think it's a wast eof time?" Dilbert: "Do you mind if I work while yo uhallucinate?"
Share April 30, 2005's comic on:
Wally; "Once again you have failed to motivate me." Wally: "I don't want to become like my coworkers, always plotting ways to sabotage your career." Wally: "Now would be a good time for you to say something inspirational."
Share November 22, 2005's comic on:
Welcome to my seminar on dealing with difficult coworkers. "Difficult coworkers generally fall into one of these groups." LAZY MEAN SMART CRAZY "The only way to deal with them is to quit your job and become a syndicated cartoonist." "Thanks for coming."
Share March 21, 2006's comic on:
"Asok, I want you to attend the technology steering committee for me." "But they are all tall members of senior management. They won't even acknowledge my existence." "Phfft." "Hey, Andy, this seat is free. I'll just move my coffee."
Share August 01, 2006's comic on:
I hear you're a job hopper. "I like to think I have high standards." "Are you aware that all jobs require you to do things you'd rather not do? That's why they have to pay you." "Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic." "I quit! I'm going someplace where my coworkers will never waste my time!!!"