Job Of Ceo Comic Strips - Page 6

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1000 Results for Job Of Ceo

View 51 - 60 results for job of ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Job Of Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #thrown out window, #press charges, #security, #gunning for job, #hire for yacht, #policeman

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Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #court room, #judge, #lawyer, #ceo, #witness, #defendant, #die die die, #admits guilt, #first question, #legal

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Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #irony, #meeting, #ceo visits, #change focus, #make good prodcuts, #pretending solvency, #hologram, #business

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The CEO visits CEO: We're going to change our focus... from pretending to make good products, to pretending to be solvent. On a related note, I've always been a hologram.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new head regulator, #small man, #pocket, #pet head, #breast feed, #lactate, #kibble, #drinks, #ceo

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CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new product, #block of wood, #ceo, #salesman, #high forehead, #inneundo, #leader

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Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #invested, #wallpapering fog, #ideas

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CEO: I didn't understand anything you just said. Go away. The Boss: "Our CEO doesn't like your idea. He didn't say why." Dilbert: "Do you ever feel like you're wallpapering fog?" Wally: "I don't get that invested."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #worer, #40 million a year, #400 x worker pay, #salary, #disparity, #golden egg, #every ten minutes, #money

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The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #the inspirational ceo, #poor results, #engineers, #cause & effcet, #generate results, #pathetic losers, #losers, #energy, #squirming, #health

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The CEO is at a lecturn. The CEO says, "Our company is too good to have results this poor." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." The CEO thinks, "%#!* Engineers." The CEO says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Are you saying the laws of cause and effect do not apply?" Dilbert continues, "Logically, if we were good, we would generate good results." Sitting between the Wally and Alice, Dilbert continues, "Is it not more likely that we are pathetic losers who get exactly what we deserve?" The CEO says, "Yes, individually you're all losers. But together we're a great company. Thanks to my leadership." Wally says, "I feel like squirming but I don't have the energy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #executives, #teaching, #metor, #nderlings, #qualified, #education

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Boss: Would you be my mentor? CEO: It's better for me if none of my underlings are qualified to take my job. Boss: I think you just taught me something. CEO: Gaaa!!! I hate it when I do that!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #snobbishness, #random subordinate, #own boats, #touch people, #ceo.meeting, #rich, #porr

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CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.