Knocked Out Comic Strips - Page 6
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1000 Results for Knocked Out
View 51 - 60 results for knocked out comic strips. Discover the best "Knocked Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 15,
1999
Tags #ceiling, #hear strange sounds, #leap out window, #roof collapse, #water damage
Transcript
Dilbert stands in his Mom's living room and looks at the ceiling. Dilbert says, "I see some water damage on your ceiling, mom." Dilmom says, "What should I do?" Dilbert says, "That's usuall the first sign that the roof will collapse." Dilbert says, "Well, if you hear any strange sounds, you might want to leap out a window."
Saturday January 29,
2000
Tags #stressed out, #work, #feel better, #verbally abused, #co worker, #money spit, #use that one
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting between Wally and Ted and thinks: "I'm stressed out about work. Maybe I'd feel better if I verbally abused a co-worker." Ted raises his hand and screams to Dilbert: "You worthless piece of monkey spit!" Dilbert turns to Ted and thinks: "Dang. I was going to use that one." Ted rests his feet on the table, puts his hands on the back of his head and says: "Aah..."
Monday May 15,
2000
Tags #meeting with boss, #speak frankly, #problems in dept, #ask out
Transcript
Alice says to the Boss, "I scheduled a meeting with your boss." The Boss looks startled. Alice continues, "He'll probably ask me to speak frankly about any problems in the department." The Boss thinks to himself, "This couldn't get any worse." Alice says to the Boss, "He's cute. I might ask him out."
Thursday January 11,
2001
Tags #motivation fairy, #work hard, #gain respect, #peers, #avoid stress, #out live peers, #hard work
Transcript
THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: Hovering in the air near Wally, the Fairy says, "If you work hard, you will gain the respect of your peers." Wally says to the hovering Motivation Fairy, "If I avoid the stress of hard work, I will out-live my peers." The Fairy asks, "Hard work can kill me?" Wally answers, "If you're lucky."
Friday January 12,
2001
Tags #motivation fairy, #rewarding, #blurry vision, #long hors, #no raises, #no cubicle, #hair coming out, #wally fairy
Transcript
THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: The Fairy is sitting on top of Wally's computer monitor. Wally says, "It seems like your job isn't very rewarding." The Fairy, rubbing an eye, says, "Vision getting blurry." Wally says, "Long hours. No raises. No cubicle." The Fairy says, "Hair coming out in clumps." Wally watches as the Fairy flies away. The Fairy, looking exactly like Wally, with glasses and an almost bald head, says, "He's good. He's very good."
Thursday May 24,
2001
Tags #dating, #unattractive, #ugly, #woman fixes up, #project, #combover, #stay out of wind, #relationships
Transcript
Alice approaches Noriko who is sitting at her desk. Alice asks, "I'm dating an unattractive man. What should I do?" Noriko replies, "Every man is ugly until a woman fixes him up. Think of it as a project." Alice stands with a clipboard in hand as she lists her unattractive man's faults, who sits before her, obviously balding. She says, "Next, lose the combover, or at least stay out of the wind." The man asks, "How did you know about the combover?"
Monday July 30,
2001
Tags #angry dumb guy, #Opinion, #beat it out, #self hurting
Transcript
Headline: The Angry Dumb Guy. Dilbert is sitting next to a male coworker. The coworker raises his arms and says, "If anyone wants my opinion..." Dilbert turns towards the coworker as he points to himself. The coworker continues, "...I'll beat it out of me!" Dilbert responds, "I want your opinion." The coworker turns to Dilbert, pulls his own tie with one hand and raises his other fist. He exclaims, "Oh yeah? Let's see if I have one!"
Friday August 31,
2001
Tags #parts department, #give parts away, #vicious cycle, #reordering, #brief customer survey, #fill out
Transcript
Dilbert is at a parts store. The man behind the counter says, "We don't give out parts anymore." The man continues, "We're trying to end the vicious cycle of reordering." The man then asks, "Would you mind filling out a brief survey of customer satisfaction?"
Saturday September 01,
2001
Tags #out of engineer, #more adminstrative, #write reports, #gradually shift, #writing reports, #vegetative
Transcript
Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to make a gradual shift out of engineering and into something more administrative." Wally continues, "For example, I could write reports that tell other people how to do their jobs better." Wally concludes, "Then I could gradually shift out of writing reports and into something more vegetative."
Friday October 26,
2001
Tags #always a troll, #came to accounting, #had a look, #hair fell out, #horns and tail, #stopped gym, #finance troll, #accounting troll
Transcript
The troll sits at its computer. Dilbert asks, "Were you always a troll?" The troll responds, "No, this happened when I came to accounting." The troll continues, "First my hair fell out. Then I stopped going to the gym." Dilbert responds, "You have horns and a tail." The Troll replies, "When I realized I had a look going, I just went for it."