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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #death, #grim reaper, #yow, #challenge, #contest, #play, #life, #frisbee, #degrading

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The Grim Reaper points at Dogbert and says, "Dogbert, I have come for you." Dogbert yells, "Yow!" Dogbert pleads, "Wait wait! Don't I get to challenge you to some contest to play for my life!!?" The Grim Reaper says, "Okay . . . I throw this Frisbee - you try to catch it in your mouth." Dogbert asks, "Did you have anything more degrading?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind date, #biggest, #woman, #chance, #financially, #surviving, #dinner, #eat, #starch, #pasta, #banned, #life

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The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mineral, #water, #spa, #atlantis, #donut, #shop, #customer, #cash

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Dogbert sits behind a cash register and says to a customer, "Welcome to Dogbert's New Age Mineral Water Spa . . . Hand over the cash." Dogbert says, "Hold it . . . The vibes from my crystal tell me we knew each other in a previous life . . . In ATLANTIS!" A man says, "That's what you told the last guy, too." Dogbert replies, "Atlantis was a small town. I ran the only donut shop."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #groan, #opressive, #day, #toil, #saturday, #planet, #earth, #happiest, #sleep, #late

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Dilbert sits up in bed, groans and thinks, "It's 6 a.m. and time for another oppressive day of meaningless toil . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . Today is Saturday . . ." Dilbert lies back down and thinks, "I am the happiest man on the planet earth."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #bob, #dawn, #lesson, #life, #stinks, #kick, #hatch

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs stand in a cave watching their egg. Dawn says, "Our egg is starting to hatch!!" Bob says, "C'mon egg! Push! You can do it by yourself!!" Dawn yells, "Kick it! Kick it!" Bob asks Dawn, "Should we help?" Dawn replies, "No, it's an important lesson on life." The baby in the egg thinks, "So far it stinks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dawn, #bob, #spank, #behave, #bitter, #resentful, #child, #mother's day, #father's day

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Dawn: We have to be firm with little Rex. Watch me, Bob. Rex, behave or I'll spank you! Rex: If you spank me. I'll become a bitter and resentful child. And forget you on mother's day. Rex: I think we understand each other now. Bob: Is father's day still a go?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #protest, #obscene, #opera, #foreign, #language, #sheltered, #life

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I'm writing to protest the obscene lyrics in opera." Dilbert says, "It's not obscene . . . It's a foreign language." Dogbert stops writing and says, "Oh . . . I thought I was just living a very sheltered life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #great, #things, #dog, #nap, #time, #want, #tired, #hate, #life, #Dogbert

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Dogbert thinks, "One of the great things about being a dog is that we can take a nap any time we want." Dogbert continues thinking, "Sometimes we do it because we're tired." Dogbert lies on his back as Dilbert walks by carrying a briefcase. Dogbert thinks, "But mostly, we do it to make you hate your life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #conquer, #elbonia, #ten, #minutes, #thing, #Dogbert, #despotic, #congenial, #pbs, #last, #night, #missile, #boring, #smart

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Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #privacy, #Dilbert, #supreme court, #nomination, #hearings, #opinions, #Right, #life, #idiots

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At Dogbert's nomination hearings, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Dogbert, "Do you have any opinions on the right to privacy?" Dogbert replies, "No. In fact, I've never formed an important opinion in my entire life." The senator says, "You must think we're idiots." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I've formed ONE opinion . . . But that's all."