Last Ounce Of Happiness Comic Strips - Page 6
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Caption: Dogbert's ad agency" Dogbert stands on a table holding a pointer. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "According to my research..." Dogbert says, "...People don't use your products when they are outdoors." Dogbert gestures to The Boss, "Somehow we must keep people indoors." Dogbert flips a page on a display notepad. Dogbert says, "I recommend an intensive ad campaign..." Dogbert continues..."Featuring this slogan..." The pad reads, 'Outdoors is for losers.' Dpgbert says to Alice, Dilbert and The Boss, "The tv spot will show humming-birds attacking a man in his garden." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Wouldn't that destroy the happiness of gullible people?" Dogbert says, "We'll tell them it doesn't."
Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."
The Boss: "The last election was incredibly close. That's why it's so important to vote." The Boss: "Smart, well-informed people were evenly divded. Therefore, logically, that proves that intelligence is not a factor, so voting is absurd." The Boss: "Then you have no right to complain about the result." Wally: "I'm pretty sure I do."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."
"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"
Dilbert: No one ever wants to tae more than half or whats left of the last doughnut. Thats why I call it xenon doughnut. HEE HEE! Waitress: I heard some of that, do you want to switch to hard liquor? Woman: Hurry.
"Research has shown that happiness is not related to one's absolute level of wealth." "What matters is one's relative wealth compared to other people." "So, if I do a good job, could you cut this guy's pay?"
Tags #complain about work load, #ounce of prevention, #pound of assignments, #working day and night, #projects, #assignments, #deliverables, #must do items, #action items, #frie drills, #dog and pony shows, #glare problem
Wally is leaned back in his chair sleeping. Wally awakens, looks at his wrist watch and thinks to himself, "It's time to complain about my workload." As Wally walks away from his desks, he thinks "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of asignments." Wally goes into the Boss' office to complain about his workload. He says to the Boss, "I'm working day and night!" Wally goes on to explain. "I've got projects, assignments, deliverables, tasks..." The Boss sits at his desk listening to Wally. Wally continues, "...must -do items, fire drills, and dog and pony shows." The Boss, having ignored everything Wally just said, hands Wally a piece of paper and says "Wally, I have an assignment for you." Wally is surprised. Back at his desk, Wally is again leaned back in his chair, faced covered with the piece of paper the Boss handed him earlier, as he thinks to himself, "I solved my glare problem."
Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.