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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bulk mail, #first item, #junk mail, #morale skyrocketed, #remained unopned, #wm1, #walls letter, #only mail

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Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "My morale sky-rocketed when I received my first-ever item of bulk mail." Wally continues, "I have designated it 'WM1' for 'Wally's Mail One' and it shall remain forever unopened. The Boss says, "Bulk mail is the same as junk mail." Wally says to the letter, "Don't listen to his lies, WM1."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid

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Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #edited document, #calirty, #sent out, #amazing, #accuracy and relevance, #spend career fixing

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The Boss: I edited your document for clarity and sent it out. Dilbert: wow. Its amazing how clear it is when you take out all of the accuracy and relevance. I stopped listening after wow I'll get busy spending the rest of my career fixing this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #accidentally sent, #salary spredsheet, #department, #more money, #upset, #wizard, #swollen appendix

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Dilbert: Look… Carol accidentally sent the salary spreadsheet to everyone in the department! Dilbert: WHat??! your pay is higher than mine??! But you're like a…a… WallY: wizard? Dilbert: swollen appendix.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cat, #Wally, #black mail, #cat nip, #told truth, #came clean, #animals

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Alice: "Can you tell me who complained about my off-color e-mail joke? Catbert: "No, no, no." "All conversations with human resources are strictly confidential." "Wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally, wally..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #live person, #attracted to idea, #drain on morale, #voice mail, #secretary in action, #answering phone

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The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, from now on, I want a live person answering my phone." Carol asks the Boss, "What attracted you to that idea?" Carol continues, "Was it the inefficiency or the drain of morale?" The Boss replies, "Important executives don't use voice mail." Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "I have some information for you." The Boss answers, "Call me." While standing in front of the Boss, Dilbert begins dialing his telephone number. Carol picks up the Boss' line and says, "He's not here. Do you want to leave a detailed message?" Dilbert answers, "Yes." Carol screams in the phone, "Well, you can't!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company sent, #local community, #authorized, #million dollars, #fight for it, #hobos, #alley way

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Dilbert says, "My company sent me to give money to a hobo. It's our way of helping the local community." Dilbert says, "I'm authorized to give a million dollars to one of you." A hobo says, "How do you decide which one?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you could fight for it." The other hobo says, "Say 'go.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #e-mail, #crossed arms, #angry, #happy, #concise

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Tina says, "Your e-mail was rather brusque." Dilbert says, "You mean concise." Tina says, "You owe me an apology." Dilbert says, "I'm sorry that you don't know what brevity looks like." Tina says, "You're making it worse!" Dilbert says, "Then why am I so happy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #e-mail, #urgent, #sitting, #desk, #computer, #flames, #eclipse, #cell phone, #witless protection program, #hoax, #duped, #technology

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Dilbert says, "The urgent e-mail you forwarded to the entire company is a hoax." Dilbert says, "People don't really burst into flames if they use their cell phones during an eclipse." Dilbert says, "And more bad news: The witless protection program isn't a real thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #chain letter, #e-mail, #die, #panic, #friends, #negotiating, #fifty, #superstitious

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The Boss says, "Oh no. If I don't forward this e-mail to fifty friends, I'll die within a week." The Boss says, "I don't have that many friends! I need to make more friends, and fast!!!" Dilbert says, "What are you sending him now?" Wally says, "I'm upping it to sixty friends."