Mental Health Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

242 Results for Mental Health

View 51 - 60 results for mental health comic strips. Discover the best "Mental Health" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags better comoritively, dread, fixed income, health problems, pre meeting meeting, retirement, shrink, wrinkles, complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: Im looking forward to retirement. I can't wait! I'll have my tiny fixed income, barley enough to survive! ...and a new health problem almost everyday! Wally: I'll have wrinkles everywhere and I'll actually shrink! HAHA! I'll produce nothing and I'll complain constantly! Dilbert: You're looking forward to a ll that?? WallyL well...compared to working here... The boss: Its time for the pre meeting meeting on employee productivity. Wally and Dilbert: mmm. fixed income ...health problems...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mister catbert, total compensation plan, salary alone, danger, balances out, employee benefits, lower blood pressure, rubbing soft belly, trick, health benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mister Catbert will explain our new 'total compensation plan' for excellence." Catbert says, "We no longer view compensation in the narrow terms of salary alone." Dilbert, Alice and Wally think, "Danger! Danger!" Catbert continues, "If employee benefits go up, then salaries can go down and it all balances out." Catbert lies on the table and says, "For example, did you know you could lower your blood pressure by rubbing my soft, furry belly?" Alice says, "It might be a trick!" Wally thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wally rubs Catbert's stomach and Catbert shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! It's a health benefit! Now I'll cut everybody's salary!" Dilbert, Alice and Wally look shocked and their hair and clothing is disheveled. Dilbert says, "I've noticed that the more health benefits I get, the worse I feel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags care about you, improve morale, illegal, health, least possible way

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, standing behind Alice sitting at her computer says, "Alice, I care about you..." The boss adds, "But only enough to improve your morale, not enough to be illegal in any way." The boss continues saying, "So, tell me about you health in the least specific way possible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low battery indicator, work day and night, health decline, other peoples problems, creep likes

View Transcript

Transcript

The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, life expectency, current workload, two peoples jobs, six months, five months, shop, Card

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. He points to the screen and says to Dogbert, "I calculated the impact of work on my health and life expectancy." Dilbert continues, "At my current workload, doing two people's jobs, I have... six months to live." Dogbert responds, "Remind me in five and a half months so I can shop for a card."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health benefits, itch, mood altering, stinking weasel, skin rash, drugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "I'm taking a mood-altering prescription drug to treat a skin rash." Dilbert continues, "I still itch, but I don't care. In fact, I don't even think you're a huge, stinkin' weasel." Dilbert points to The Boss with both hands and exclaims, "I love you! You da man!" The Boss replies, "Remind me to cancel your health benefits."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags everyones opinion, Advice, best job, crazy ideas, mental, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "I'll get everyone's opinion, and then I'll make my decision." Alice: "Translation: you'll take the advice of whoever does the best job of trash-talking everyone else." The Boss: "Where do you get these crazy ideas?" Dilbert: "She's mental."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags india institute of technology, huge brain, mental superiority, re heat tea, forehead, fire

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags revenue, people killed by product, health risks, kills people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our revenue is now double the number of people that our product has killed recently." Asok: "Our product costs $80. Are you saying that each one kills 40 people?" The Boss: "Our customers know the health risks, so technically they're killing themselves." Group: "So technically we aren't scum?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, 10 thousand hours, practice, willingness, mental disorder, mediocrity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show it takes ten thousand hours of practice to be great at anything. Dogbert: I would think a willingness to practice the same thing for ten thousand hours is a mental disorder. Dilbert: That makes me feel better about my mediocrity. Dogbert: You're welcome.