Network Remotely Comic Strips - Page 6

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122 Results for Network Remotely

View 51 - 60 results for network remotely comic strips. Discover the best "Network Remotely" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #network changes, #on vacation, #3 weeks, #russian submarine, #arctic circle, #blank screen, #coincidence

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Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet security, #hole in inetrnet, #work 24/7, #network management, #buck passer

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Dilbert: "I discovered a hole in our internet security." The Boss: "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" Dilbert: "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." The boss: "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management group." THE BOSS: "PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!!!" DILBERT: "Forget it! There's no hole! It got better!" THE BOSS: "That's more like it." THE BOSS: "I fixed the internet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extra funding, #extra network traffic, #hard data, #infinte capacity, #logic, #opinions, #science works, #weasel misrepresnting, #science

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "I don't think our network can handle the extra network traffic." The Boss replies, "Opinions don't matter to me. I base my decisions on hard data." Dilbert responds, "How about logic? Our network is already too slow and we plan to quadruple usage." The Boss responds, "Bah! Watch how science works and maybe you'll learn something." The Boss pokes his head out of his office and says to Doug, "Doug, come here for a minute." Doug says, "Our data proves that our network has infinite capacity, so your budget should be diverted to my project." Dilbert exclaims, "That's not science! That's a weasel misinterpreting data to get extra funding!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "There are days when you really hate to hear the phrase 'po-tay-to, po-tah-to."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #thinking, #mental energy, #executive attention, #brain network, #dangerous territory, #surpasses last remnets, #sociala awreness, #misread social cues

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Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.

Elbonians Hacked Their Network

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Elbonians Hacked Their Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #developing countries, #hacker, #hackers, #hacking, #internet, #retaliation, #technology

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CEO: We think Elbonians hacked into our network. Dilbert: That's unlikely. CEO: We must respond proportionately by hacking their entire Internet. Dilbert: It's not much of an Internet. CEO: What do you need to cripple it. Dilbert: A plane ticket and scissors.

Mansplaining The Network

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Mansplaining The Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mansplainer, #mansplaining, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #frustration

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Mansplaining. Man: Let me explain how our network is designed. Alice: I personally designed our network and I know far more about it than you ever will. Man: Do you know what a cloud is? Alice: It's where you'll be playing your harp in a minute.

Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network

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Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #malware, #virus, #infection, #cyber security, #obliviousness, #password

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Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network, #optics, #stupid company, #Women, #imagination, #flirting, #miscommunication, #co workers, #argument, #women in management, #employees, #business

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Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.

Wally Maintains The Network

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Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

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Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #bad, #technology, #day, #phone, #freezing, #printer, #working, #network, #warning, #lights, #christmas, #tree, #laptop, #boot, #coincidence, #permission, #lock, #lead-line, #box, #hero

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Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.