Never Born Comic Strips - Page 6

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612 Results for Never Born

View 51 - 60 results for never born comic strips. Discover the best "Never Born" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #employee of the month, #award, #don't know my job, #never listen, #boss

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"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #angelica jolie lips, #mp3 player, #must never soeak

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The Marketing Guru "Your mp3 player is large and scary, but I can fix that." "All it needs is a set of Angelina Jolie lips and everyone will love it." Six Months Later "We must never speak of this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #free pubilcity, #never been done, #sir richard branson

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Dogbert does public relations "You can't get free publicity simply by doing something better." "You have to do something in a way that has never been done." "It's a Sir Richard Branson sort of thing. You wouldn't understand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #never anticiptae, #first draft, #business

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Boss: I need you to help prepare me for my meeting tomorrow. Write up some answers to the questions we could never anticipate. Dilbert: I wouldn't expect much out of my first draft.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #honesty, #shakespeare, #born great, #achieve greatness, #steal, #theft, #shareholders

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CEO: Shakespeare said some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. I wonder which one I am. Catbert: Some steal from shareholders and call it greatness. CEO: Greatness of the fourth kind.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #emotional investment, #company, #families, #divorced, #single, #never been kissed, #mission accomplished, #business

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The Boss: I want you to have the same emotional investment in this company as you have with your families. Wally: I'm divorced. Dilbert: I'm single. Asok: "I have never been kissed. Wally: Mission accomplished.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #valuable, #value, #legacy system, #less valuable, #never appear less valuable, #dress code troll

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Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #afterlife, #death & dying, #international economic integration, #secure a long term supply, #rare earth, #metal, #rare earth metals, #dying, #reincarnating, #20% chance, #born chinese

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The Boss says, "Our consultant will tell us how we can secure a long-term supply of rare earth metals for our products." The Boss says, "China has the most of the rare earth metals. Try dying. And reincarnating. There's a 20% chance that you'll be born Chinese." The Boss says, "What's plan B?" Dogbert says, "If the only part that goes wrong is the Chinese part, you can try dying again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #asbestos, #ceiling, #danger, #telekinesis, #neutralized, #never ask, #curious

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Wally: They found asbestos in our ceiling. We're all in danger. Asok: "I must use my telekinesis to remove the asbestos." "GAAA!" The threat has been neutralized. You must never ask me how it was done." Wally: I'm not even curious."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #high priority tasks, #launched, #abyss of total nothingness, #never talk about you

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Dilbert: Today I complete my high priority tasks and launched them into the miasma. "There they will rot from neglect while I draw closer to the abyss of eternal nothingness." Ratbert: "I have an idea. Let's never talk about you."