Never Mention Comic Strips - Page 6
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"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"
Dogbert does public relations "You can't get free publicity simply by doing something better." "You have to do something in a way that has never been done." "It's a Sir Richard Branson sort of thing. You wouldn't understand."
Boss: I need you to help prepare me for my meeting tomorrow. Write up some answers to the questions we could never anticipate. Dilbert: I wouldn't expect much out of my first draft.
The Boss: I want you to have the same emotional investment in this company as you have with your families. Wally: I'm divorced. Dilbert: I'm single. Asok: "I have never been kissed. Wally: Mission accomplished.
Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."
Wally: They found asbestos in our ceiling. We're all in danger. Asok: "I must use my telekinesis to remove the asbestos." "GAAA!" The threat has been neutralized. You must never ask me how it was done." Wally: I'm not even curious."
Dilbert: Today I complete my high priority tasks and launched them into the miasma. "There they will rot from neglect while I draw closer to the abyss of eternal nothingness." Ratbert: "I have an idea. Let's never talk about you."
Dilbert: "My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." Dogbert: "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." Dilbert: "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."
Our enterprise software comes in two flavors. The premium package boats a friendly user interface. The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life. we'll take the cheap one. I can tell by the ay you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend. I'll send romantic invitations to al the pope on the email address list. Dont worry - i"lll us etc text that I would on a great adult website. when I said that you need to give a hundred percent I shut have been more specific.