Never Produced Anything Comic Strips - Page 6
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View 51 - 60 results for never produced anything comic strips. Discover the best "Never Produced Anything" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 13, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert enters the Boss's office. He says, "Here's my project plan as you requested." Dilbert explains, "Our team is already working day and night on other projects." Dilbert continues, "I assumed we'd give up eating, sleeping and bathing to fit this in." Dilbert continues, "By the second week we'll be starving, delirious and stinking." Dilbert continues, "We'll be like wild, unpredictable animals." Dilbert continues, "Specifically, we'd be like wild chipmunks. None of us are very aggressive." Dilbert points to the proposal and says, "This clip art represents us in week three as a pile of dead chipmunks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Now he wants it in two weeks?" Dilbert says, "Never mix sarcasm with good clip-art."
Share July 27, 1997's comic on:
What if...Albert Einstien had been in marketing? Dogbert stands excited. Albert Einstien hands a piece of paper to The Boss who sits behind his desk. Einstien says, "I have a great idea for increasing sales." The Boss reads report. The Boss says, "Nope. This will never work." Einstien asks, "Um...is it possible that you don't fully understand the idea?" The Boss says, "That's quite an ego you have there, Allan." Einstein frowns. Einstein says, "Albert." The Boss walks Einstien out of his office. The Boss says, "Experienced managers know how to identify bad ideas...." The Boss says, "Bad ideas come from other people. Now go work smarter, not harder." Einstien walks away. The Boss thinks, "I worry that a guy like that will go off and build a huge bomb."
Share February 12, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert sits at a computer and talks on the phone. Dogbert says, "I'll need your serial number, which is conveniently located inside the unit. The man on the other end of the phone says, "The sticker says my warranty will be void if I open the case." DOgbert says, "Well, call me if anything changes."
Share April 20, 1999's comic on:
Alice says, to the boss, "As requested, I did a "risk management" assessment." Alice points to a picture of the boss with a zero over his head. Alice says, "I concluded that there was no risk of any management." Alice says, "Do you have anything to add?" The boss says, "I'll get back to you."
Share September 22, 1999's comic on:
Asok stands in the Boss's office and says, "I have never been summoned to your office before. It is a great honor for an intern." the boss points at the ceiling and says, "I need you to crawl through this air duct and find out where air comes from." Asok says, "Air comed from out doors." The boss says, "No, I think it's coming from our building."
Share December 15, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert is holding a mug and walking behind Asok. Dilbert says to Asok: "I heard your project got cancelled." Asok stops and says: "What?" Asok screams and shakes his hands in the air in front of Dilbert: "No! No! Why me? I'll never love again!!" Asok's hair is standing up and he is grabbing his tie with wild eyes. Asok says to Dilbert: "I renounce my religion." Dilbert says: "Ouch."
Share January 01, 2000's comic on:
The boss, Wally, Dilbert and a new consultant are in a meeting. The boss says: "I hired the "Bait and Switch" consulting group because they're so smart." The consultant says to the boss while introducing him to a very messy looking man: "I'm assigning Eddie to work on your account. You will never see me again." Eddie sits in front of the boss and says: "So, what is it that you do here?"
Share March 18, 2000's comic on:
Asok reports at a meeting: "I performed many tasks, but I can not claim any accomplishments." He continues: "Because things might have turned out better had I never been born." He turns to Dilbert: "Technically, it's true." Dilbert tells Asok: "Remind me to slap you later."
Share March 23, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert introduces the future Dilbert to Alice: "Alice, this is me from the future." Alice says: "Hi." The future Dilbert tells Dilbert: "At the next holiday party, she's all over you." Dilbert asks the future Dilbert as they are walking away: "Is that true?" The future Dilbert answers: "No, but after today she never drank again."
Share April 26, 2000's comic on:
The Engineering Liason says to Dilbert, "Tell me your project status and I'll translate for our clients." Dilbert says, "The project will never be completed because our idiot clients change the requirements every other day." The Engineering Liason responds, "I'll just say you're drunk."