New Marketing Strategy Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for new marketing strategy comic strips. Discover the best "New Marketing Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best practices, #classified budget, #consultanats, #layoffs, #merger, #new ceo, #office relocation, #reorganized, #savings, #startegy, #whole industry, #budget freeze

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Dilbert points to a diagram that reads, "Year 1." He says, "The project got off to a slow start." Dilbert continues, "First we had the reorganization." Dilbert continues, "Then the merger. And the layoffs." Dilbert continues, "Budget freeze. Office relocation." Dilbert continues, "New Ceo, New consultants, New strategy." Business associates listen as Dilbert continues, "Eventually the whole industry changed and the opportunity evaporated." Dilbert continues, "So we classified our unused budget as "savings" and gave everyone a shirt. A female business associate turns to The Boss and says, "You said you'd show us your 'best practices.'" The Boss replies, "What are you implying?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer of the year, #fly to ny, #receive trophy, #winners, #other companies, #critical time, #name someone lese, #sick day, #sleep, #bathe, #carol, #marketing, #upside awards, #on head, #health, #business

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I'm naming you our company's 'Engineer of the Year.'" The Boss continues, "You'll fly to New York and receive a trophy with the winners from other companies." Alice replies, "I'm too busy. Name someone else." The Boss approaches Dilbert. Dilbert says, "That's a critical time for my project." The Boss approaches Asok. Asok says, "I'm flattered but I already have no time for sleeping or bathing." The Boss approaches Wally. Wally says, "I have a sick day scheduled for that Friday." The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, I need you to go to New York and pretend to be an engineer." Carol is standing with other guests at the award party. They have their awards on their heads; one is drinking from his. A guest says to Carol, "Why yes, most of us ARE really from marketing. How can you tell?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little people allowed, #strategy decisions, #project opal, #executive intuition, #budget cut, #opal project, #named after daughter, #increase budget, #secret meetings, #decision makers

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "All the important decision-makers in the company in this room." The Boss continues, "No little people are allowed because we'll be making important strategy decisions." The Boss continues, "First, let's make decisions about project Opal." The Boss continues, "Does anyone know what the project is or what we need to decide?" A man raises his hand and says, "My executive intuition tells me we should cut the budget by 10%." Another man turns to him and says, "I think Opal is one of your projects. It's named after your daughter." The first speaker grabs his own head and says, "Wait.. a new intuition is coming in now... it says to increase the budget." Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why are those meetings secret?" The Boss replies, "You don't want to know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alcoholic beverages, #executive retreat, #executives, #lower prices, #price war, #prices, #profit margin, #strategy

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Boss: Our new strategy is to lower our prices to increase sales. Dilbert: So our strategy is to start a price war and drive our profit margin to zero? Boss: It made sense at the executive retreat. Alice: Was alcohol involved?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coaching, #deception, #laziness, #mentor, #mentoring, #strategy, #work ethic, #taper, #key to winning, #new job, #long hours, #good first impression, #taker off, #working smarter

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Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work

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Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #marketing, #robot, #robotics, #slave, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #marketing leagl, #enslave humans, #business

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Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?

Strategy To Get What You Deserve

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Strategy To Get What You Deserve - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Promotion, #recognition, #strategy, #business, #competition

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusion, #strategy, #business, #executives, #bluff, #bluffing

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CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.

Strategy Document

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Strategy Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #strategy, #obliviousness, #insult

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Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.

Fix It With Marketing

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Fix It With Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business

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Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.