New Secretary Comic Strips - Page 6
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1000 Results for New Secretary
View 51 - 60 results for new secretary comic strips. Discover the best "New Secretary" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 12,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #supervise, #department, #secretary, #gibberish
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.
Saturday July 14,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #auto service, #question, #change oil, #new oil, #second, #option
Transcript
Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."
Wednesday May 01,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #secretary, #cerberus, #calendar, #head, #willy, #mail, #boy, #choice, #bowling
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . So, then my boss's secretary, Miss Cerberus, says she won't put me on the calendar unless I bring her the HEAD of Willy the Mail Boy." Dilbert holds out a bag with something round in it and says, "What choice did I have?" Dogbert's ears fly up in shock. Dilbert says, "I went bowling." Dogbert looks angry.
Thursday May 30,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #sony, #sniffman, #salesman, #donny osmond, #new, #Classic, #gym, #bag, #consumerism
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the counter in a retail store. The salesclerk says, "This Sony Sniffman makes a nice gift." The clerk continues, "You can play the smells of your favorite stars!" The salesperson hands Dilbert the Sniffman and says, "Try it - it's Donny Osmond's gym bag." Dilbert asks, "Is it 'new Donny' or classic?"
Friday September 13,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #learn, #primitive, #magazine, #cultures, #new yorker, #reading
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table looking through a National Geographic magazine. Dilbert says, "This magazine is the only way we can learn about primitive cultures." Dogbert asks, "How do they learn about us?" Dilbert points to a photograph and says, "Here's a Pygmy reading 'The New Yorker.'"
Thursday December 26,
1991
Tags #blame, #budget, #Dilbert, #the boss, #empowered, #decisions, #employees, #calculated, #risks, #new, #Word
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and asks, "What did you mean when you said all employees are empowered?" Dilbert continues, "Does that mean I can control my own budget, make decisions without twelve levels of approval, and take calculated risks on my own?" The Boss replies, "No, it's just a way to blame employees for not doing the things we tell them not to do." Dilbert hangs his head and says, "No wonder you needed a new word."
Friday December 27,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #date, #new, #system, #evaluating, #check, #boxes, #Card, #night, #dinged, #point, #nervous, #twitch, #head, #block, #bucket
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"
Thursday January 30,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #new guy, #productive, #bureaucracy, #savants, #Wally
Transcript
Wally asks Dilbert, "How's the new guy doing?" Dilbert replies, "He's extremely productive." Dilbert says as they watch a man at a desk wildly tossing documents over his shoulder, "We think he's one of those bureaucracy savants."
Thursday April 09,
1992
Tags #man, #robe, #marketing, #research, #new, #friday, #shout, #question
Transcript
A man in a robe points to a well and says to Dilbert, "When you work in marketing, you use the research well to test new ideas." The man continues, "Any day but Friday you can shout your question into the well and an answer will come back." Dilbert asks, "Why not Friday?" Someone inside the well replies, "Friday is your day in the well."
Thursday June 04,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #new, #video, #phone, #routed, #television, #celebrities, #calling, #dolly parton
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Nobody ever calls on my new video phone so I routed the television signal to it." Dilbert continues, "Now I can pretend that celebrities are calling me all day." Dilbert says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Dolly Parton is calling. I'll bet it's for me again."