No Bulky User Manual Comic Strips - Page 6

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93 Results for No Bulky User Manual

View 51 - 60 results for no bulky user manual comic strips. Discover the best "No Bulky User Manual" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sadist Designs Interface

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Sadist Designs Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #user, #interfaces, #job, #unwanted, #customers, #sadist, #stockholm

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boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.

User Complaints

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User Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair

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dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

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Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #design, #business, #headphones, #maximum, #customer, #annoyance, #charging, #port, #guess, #incorrect, #frustration, #fit, #customers, #ship, #user

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dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #interviewed users, #suggestions, #idiots, #dumb suggestions, #hindsight

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Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #uncle phil, #hang glided, #tree, #hang gliding

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Dilbert shows Dogbert a photo album and says, "This is Uncle Phil before he died hang gliding." Dogbert asks, "Did he hit a tree?" Dilbert replies, "Let's just say he didn't read the hang glider manual very carefully." Uncle Phil stands on top of a hang glider with a noose around his neck. The other end of the rope is attached to a tree. He thinks, "I wonder if there's another reason it's called hang gliding. Nah . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #after every typo, #point and click, #poorly documented commands, #reboot, #interface

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"We could design the product with a simple point - and - click interface..." "Or we could require the user to choose among thousands of poorly documented commands, each of which must be typed exactly right on the first try." "Bear in mind, we'll never meet a customer ourselves." "Make it so they have to reboot after every typo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #computer holy wars, #scruffy beard, #suspenders, #smug expression, #unix computer user, #nickel, #better computer, #holy wars

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Wally approaches another employee and says, "Hold it right there, buddy." Wally continues, "That scruffy beard . . . those suspenders . . . that smug expression . . ." Wally concludes, "You're one of those condescending Unix computer users!" The man responds, "Here'a nickel, kid. Get yourself a better computer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #credit, #Card, #stupid, #banks, #computer, #righteous, #indignation, #department, #employee, #speaking, #reprogram, #mannual

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Dilbert reads a letter and tells Dogbert, "My credit card has been canceled. The stupid bank's computer thinks I died." Dilbert continues, "This is an opportunity for some righteous indignation. I love that." Dilbert dials the telephone. A customer service representative answers the phone and says, "Hello, credit card department, an underpaid employee speaking." The man says, "Well, yes, apparently you are alive, but it would be very difficult to reprogram the computer . . ." Dilbert replies, "I'm sure you'll find a solution." A woman at the bank asks, "Kill him?" The man replies, "Unless you'd RATHER read this computer manual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #network systems, #software manual, #manuals, #mean spirirted, #meet half way, #door, #window

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Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #email monitoring system, #personal message, #unpaid overtime, #cluelessness in vicinity, #manipulating emplyee

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The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."