Number Accurate Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

147 Results for Number Accurate

View 51 - 60 results for number accurate comic strips. Discover the best "Number Accurate" comics from Dilbert.com.

More Accurate Job Description

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2019's comic on:

Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Employee Engagement Survey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2019's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #underpay, #senior, #management, #accurate, #information, #engagement, #survey, #important, #underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.

Noble Bad Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2020's comic on:

Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

View Transcript

Transcript

boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sciencesplainer Explains Science New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2020's comic on:

Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2011's comic on:

Tags #direction, #managers, #increase clairty, #whining

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: employees keep whining that we don't have a clear direction. So Ive doubled the number of managers one each group to increase the clarity. The Boss: I thought we were doubling the direction. No, we're doubling the clarity.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #worry, #complints, #creepy speech, #massage therapist, #rusty van

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Pete, I'm getting complaints that everything you say is creepy. Man: You seem tense. I should give you the number of my massage therapist, "Rubbin, Robin." Boss: You're doing it again. Man: I don't have an address because he works out of a rusty van.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2012's comic on:

Tags #dating, #rich people, #top 1%, #Women, #sisters, #hot, #attraction, #co worker, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Now that I'm a top one-percenter, I wonder what kind of women I'll attract. Do you have any sisters back home? I'm asking because you'd be totally hot if you were a woman. So I'm thinking hoo-ah! Asok: I cannot count the number of ways this is wrong.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2012's comic on:

Tags #brag, #contributions, #ego, #hours of work, #man of ideas, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2012's comic on:

Tags #efficiency experts, #golf, #management consultant, #initate, #golf tournament, #profits, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a management consultant to teach us something he calls backwards causation. Dogbert: I studied the most successful companies. If you imitate them, you'll feel as if you have a strategy. Number one: sponsor a golf tournament so your CEO can meet celebrities. Boss: Profits, here we come.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1989's comic on:

Tags #death, #waiting, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Grim Reaper enters and says, "Gilbert, your time has come." Dilbert says as beads of sweat fly off his forehead, "Gilbert?! My name is DILBERT! You have the wrong guy!" The Grim Reaper says, "Oops! Sorry. Mind if I just wait around until your number comes up?"