Numbers Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

70 Results for Numbers

View 51 - 60 results for numbers comic strips. Discover the best "Numbers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"You will no longer have access to code on any server but your own." "Is it my imagination, or are all of our rules designed for the sole purpose of being huge inconveniences?" "And starting today, all passwords must contain letters, numbers, doodles, sign language and squirrel noises."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I got the latest numbers from Yvonne. "How's Yvonne doing with the sextuplets now that her house burned down and she had shoulder surgery?" "It didn't come up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

We might need to restate our earnings. "It turns out that we're not allowed to make up numbers." "Did you know that 'frillion' isn't an actual number?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #futurists, #baby boomers, #retire, #coffee, #standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Futurists say that when baby boomers start retiring in big numbers, you won't be able to fill critical job openings." Wally says, "If you agree to let me slack off now, I'll give you a few good years when I'm sixty." The Boss says, "What if you renege?" Wally says, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #magic button, #cost estimates, #push, #phrase, #swear

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your?" Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #failure estimate, #hallucinate, #assumption, #make up, #understanding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Can you get me some failure estimates for our next gen product?" Dilbert says, "I can if you like numbers that are based on hallucinated assumptions." The Boss says, "I kind of do." Dilbert says, "I think we have an understanding."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #proposition, #marriage, #ridiculous, #confused, #reading, #explanation, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I crunched the numbers, and it makes sense for us to get married." Alice says, "I can maintain my lifestyle if you live in the closet and your only hobby is cleaning my house when I'm gone." Alice says, "If that doesn't work, I can insure the bejeezus out of you and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "The best?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #assignment, #question, #scheme, #excited, #celebrating, #dancing, #lazy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to do an inventory in our warehouses. It should take about a month." Wally says, "Hypothetically, would anyone know the difference if I just made up the numbers?" The Boss says, "Well, no?" Wally says, "Dream job!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reprimand, #ridiculous, #unwanted, #confused, #group

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "Wally, we'd like to transition your role in this project." woman says, "During the first week, you were the lead engineer." woman says, "Going forward, you'll be in more of an advisory role." woman says, "And by that I mean we have a restraining order against you." woman says, "You're not allowed within 100 yards of the conference room." woman says, "We've changed our cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses." woman says, "And we're all having reconstructive surgery so you won't recognize us in the hallway." The boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "Mary, is that you?"