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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #tv ad eeffectivesness, #heard of company, #boring commercial, #viewers drift off, #ad money, #special hole

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Dogbert says to Wally and The Boss, "A survey of your TV ad effectiveness shows that no one has heard of your company." Dogbert continues, "Your ad only says your name once, at the end of a boring commercial when viewers have drifted off." Dogbert holds up a drawing of Ratbert in a hole and says, "I recommend throwing your ad money into a special kind of hole." The Boss responds, "When can we start?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #radiating aura, #extreme incompetence, #turn off, #minute to cool

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The Boss: "Wally, could you.." Wally turns; he has a dotted bubble around his body. The Boss continues, "Oh.. never mind, I see that you're radiating an aura of extreme incompetence." Dilbert, Alice, and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says to Wally, "You forgot to turn off your aura." Wally responds, "It takes a minute to cool down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corporations, #ignore, #jumpy tactics, #laid off, #you might be next, #your imagination

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Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "I'm seeing signs that I might get laid off." Dogbert responds, "It's probably your imagination. Just ignore them." Catbert and The Boss are hanging an arrow-shaped sign that reads, "You might be next" on Dilbert's cubicle. Catbert says, "I have to admit that I like it when they're jumpy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #elbonia, #time difference, #hand off requirements, #work day, #finish code, #pretend we died

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The Boss: "We're outsourcing half of our programming work to Elbonia to take advantage of the time difference." The Boos: "We'll hand off our requirements at the end of our work day and get back the finished code the next morning." Elboninas: "Once again, I have no idea what they want." "Let's pretend we died."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #employee of week, #hose off, #company hose, #landing pad, #helicopter, #bird droppings

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The Boss: "Asok, you've been named 'Employee of the Week!'" "The title gives you access to the executive helicopter landing pad on the roof." "And by 'access' I mean you hose off the bird droppings every morning." Asok: "I get to use the company hose!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #feet off desk, #random mangement, #stock rise, #so random, #commands

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The Boss: "Take your feet off the desk." Dilbert: "Is this an example of random management or do you think it will make our stock rise?" The Boss: "It's up .02%. Heh-heh-heh, not so random after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cubicles, #banana peel, #garbage, #stink all day, #speech wore off

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wally: I can't put this banana peel in my trash; it will stink all day. The boss: apparently my teamwork speech wore off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad connection, #billing codes, #throw desk, #off builing, #miscommunication, #car, #cell phone, #technology

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The Boss: "We have a bad connection, so listen carefully." "Throw ... my ... desk ... off ... building..." "Okay." "I hope that sounded like 'go through my desk and office and find the billing codes'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #point haired boss, #throw desk, #off biliding, #cell phone, #bad connection, #carry desk, #roof, #thrown, #happy, #technology

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"Are you sure that our pointy-haired boss said to throw his desk off the building?" "Well, his cell phone had a really bad connection." "Do you care?" "Not so much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #email, #face on cows butt, #morale, #objects, #off color jokes, #photoshopped

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The boss: "Alice, you've ben accused of forwarding off-color jokes by e-mail." The Boss: "Do you object to the increase in morale or the nickel it cost the company so far?" "I object to my face being photoshopped to a cow's butt." Alice: "You object to art?"