Promise Of Speed Comic Strips - Page 6

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71 Results for Promise Of Speed

View 51 - 60 results for promise of speed comic strips. Discover the best "Promise Of Speed" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #no budget, #raise, #quit, #job refernce, #work again, #manipulate, #harrasment

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The Boss says, "Alice, there's no budget to give you a raise, but I'll give you something that is just as good." The Boss says, "I promise that if you quit on me I will give you a bad reference and you will never work again." Alice says, "How is that just as good as a raise?" The Boss says, "Try to see it from my point of view."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bought company, #discriminate, #non elbonian, #hatless spawn, #satans bowels, #elbonian company

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The Boss says, "An Elbonian company bought our company yesterday." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "They promise they won't discriminate against non-Elbonians." An Elbonian says, "Hey, hatless spawn of Satan's bowels, put a head on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bacon and eggs, #breakfast, #breakfast foods, #chicken, #dead pig, #home early, #pig, #meeting, #animals, #business

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The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #office, #lack of experience, #revenge, #office politics, #worry, #sabotage, #best engineer, #4g, #skeptical, #false information

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The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

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CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #writing, #newsletter, #ridicule, #angry, #yelling

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Tina says, "For the company newsletter profile, I need to know how you rose from being an ignorant baboon to an overpaid speed bump." Tina says, "And make it not boring." The boss says, "I'm not an overpaid speed bump!" Tina says, "My fact-checker will need to see your pay stub."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #pay, #salary, #money, #complaining, #sub-par, #angry, #promise, #mean, #cruel

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The Boss says, "Tina, I just learned that your pay is 20% below the industry average for your job." The Boss says, "I will correct this injustice, no matter what it takes!" Tine says, "You would do that for me?" The Boss says, "You have my word that I will lower the industry average!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dogbert for president, #terrorits, #skull, #salad bowls, #steal money, #vote, #pollution has viatamins, #lies, #fabrications, #intimidations, #Politics

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Dogbert for President "Vote for me or the terrorists will use your skulls for salad bowls." "I promise to take money from the people who don't vote for me and give it to the people who do." "Pollution has vitamins!" "I like how he makes me feel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #unqualified crony, #rebellion, #staff, #blow out of proportion, #monitor situation

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Dilbert: Your unqualified crony is causing a rebellion among the staff. The Boss: "There's not need to blow this all out of proportion." "But I promise to monitor the situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #rude, #explaining, #annoyed, #dancing, #angry, #uncaring

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Dilbert says, "My insolence safety zone has expanded." The boss says, "Your what?" Dilbert says, "It's a measure of how rude I can be without fear of consequences." Dilbert says, "You have no budget to give me a raise, so I have no potential gain from acting professionally." Dilbert says, "And it would be inconvinient for you to fire a highly experienced engineer and try to bring a new one up to speed." Dilbert says, "So from now on, when you ask me to do something stupid, which is most of the time..." Dilbert says, "I'll roll my eyes, make a dismissive grunt and do this dance." Phhhht! Dilbert says, "Hey walla-walla walla! Boopita boopita boopita!" Dilbert says, "You finally raised my morale. Good work on that."