Promoted Level Comic Strips - Page 6

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116 Results for Promoted Level

View 51 - 60 results for promoted level comic strips. Discover the best "Promoted Level" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious

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CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

Wally Gets Promoted

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Wally Gets Promoted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #management, #leadership, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: I got promoted to a leadership role. It means I get to tell people to work hard, but I don't have to do any worm myself. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Wally: I could use a fresh one of these.

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

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Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness

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Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #human body, #medicines, #vitamin d, #inner glow, #vitamins, #minerals, #better than sun

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Topper. Carol: I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need some sun to boost my vitamin D level. Topper: That's nothing. Exposure to my inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Dilbert: You're better than the sun? Topper: I don't quit just because it's night.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality

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The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #discussion, #hijack conversations of subordinates, #imperious interuptus, #load and testing

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Dilbert: ... then we can do the load testing and... Boss: I'm invoking the right of imperious interruptus. In layman's terms, it is the right of all bosses to hijack the conversations of subordinates. I will now turn my back to you and speak with Alice as if you don't exist. Do not leave. Do not chime in, just awkwardly stand there. CEO: Imperious interruptus! Behold my power to make two underlings stand awkwardly while I hijack this conversation! Have you heard my speech about how we're not level conscious at this company?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #language, #thinking, #project management, #life cycle, #abtraction, #weightless, #management process

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Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering

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Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #understand, #sleep, #sleep deprivation, #Food, #starve, #artificial, #deadline, #ergle, #flumg, #muddle brained, #incomprehensible, #division, #manager

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The Boss says to Tim, "I understand you've been going without sleep or food for days just to meet some artificial deadline." Tim mumbles incoherently. The Boss continues, "As a result, your work has been muddle-brained and incomprehensible. You leave me no choice, Tim." Wally says to Dilbert, "Tim got promoted to division manager." Dilbert replies, "I wonder if he knows it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #tim, #Promotion, #sacrificed, #health, #life, #soul, #worth, #office, #door, #low achiever day, #touch

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Tim says to Dilbert, "I've sacrificed my health, my personal life and my soul to get promoted." Tim continues, "Ha ha ha! But it was all worth it because I have an office with a DOOR and you still work in a cubicle!" Tim continues, "Maybe I'll host a special 'Low-Achiever Day' to let you touch my door." Dilbert imagines closing Tim in his door.