Punishing For Failure Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

98 Results for Punishing For Failure

View 51 - 60 results for punishing for failure comic strips. Discover the best "Punishing For Failure" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The failure of my project can only be blamed on... BEEP BOOP BEEP "I'll be right there." "That guy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, after I left the meeting yesterday, did you blame me for the failure of the project?" "I'm getting a bad vibe from people today. That sort of rumor could stain my reputation and ruin my entire future." "How dare you accuse me..." "Well, well. Look who's impeding Wally again."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to build my own country on the ocean using barges." "I shall rule with an iron paw, punishing citizens for no reason other than my own entertainment. Buwhaha!!!" "I'm hoping people will put up with it because their homes are near the ocean."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I need to blame someone for the failure of Project Alpha. "Use the plunger of blame. It's the latest technology for randomly distributing blame." "Please tell me that someone is patting me on the back right now." BLAME

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2013's comic on:


Tags #gratitude, #lay offs, #seven engineers, #trying to succeed, #gratutude, #pressure off

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I had to lay off seven engineers and... I need you to pick up those functions. Dilbert: Wow! I feel a weight has been lifted from my chest. Now that my failure is guaranteed, I no longer feel the stress of trying to succeed! I don't know how to thank you for this. Boss: This didn't go the way I hoped.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #fix control management system, #long time, #meeting, #leadership, #timeline, #failure, #annoyed, #blame others, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "What's taking you so long to fix the control management system?" Dilbert says, "Your leadership has taught me to give you laughably unrealistic timelines, then blame others when I miss deadlines." The Boss says, "You're not even doing that right." Dilbert says, "I guess I need more of your leadership."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #office, #Environment, #risks, #mistakes, #fist, #hard job

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My job is to create an environment where employees feel safe taking risks." The Boss says, "My other job is punishing employees who make any kind of mistake." The Boss says, "My point is that I'm glad I don't have your job."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #website, #revamp, #launch, #technology, #crash, #success, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We launched our revamped website today." Dilbert says, "All of the technology we used is already obsolete and every vendor we hired is out of business." Dilbert says, "?And it just crashed." Dilbert says, "I miss the days when we had brief windows of success."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cheer up, #happiness, #comparing yourself, #reference group, #successful member, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I feel like a failure. Say something to cheer me up?" Dogbert says, "Happiness comes from comparing yourself to a reference group that is relatively worse off." Dogbert says, "You're a successful member of the reference group." Dilbert says, "And that's not nothing!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #project, #budget, #deadline, #resources, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'll never be able to finish my project on time." The Boss says, "You need to take ownership." Dilbert says, "Can I hire more programmers?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Can I reduce the number of features?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "So...I'm just taking ownership of the failure?" The Boss says, "Don't be greedy."