Raise Fist Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

250 Results for Raise Fist

View 51 - 60 results for raise fist comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Fist" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #revenue figures, #no revenue, #upgradimg, #project revenues, #spread hseet, #fist of death

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands at Alice's desk. The Boss says, "When you show this to our VP. Put in some revenue figures." Alice says, "There's no revenue. All we're doing is upgrading our network." The Boss says, "I might have told him the project has revenues." Alice grits her teeth. The Boss says, "Lets not confuse him by changing the story now." Alice covers her eyes. Alice screams, "Yi-yi-yi." Alice says, "O-o-o-okay. How much revenue do you want? A million dollars?" The Boss says, "I might have told him it was more." Alice screams, "Just tell me what lie to use!!!" The Boss says, "Can't you calculate it on the spreadsheet?" Alice's fists clench, Alice's eyes bulge. Alice thinks, "Must control....fist..of...death..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #2 percent raise, #not challenging, #exceeded golas, #no complaining, #walls performance, #complained all year, #weasel, #stab him in back

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at the Boss's desk. He tells her, "I can only give you a two percent raise this year, Alice." He adds, "Because your job was not very challenging." Alice asks, "How could you possibly not think it was challenging?" The Boss replies, "You exceeded all your goals without complaining." The Boss adds, "Compare that to Wally's performance. He complained all year." The Boss: "And he missed every goal! Now THAT'S a challenging job!" Alice shouts, "Wally is a filthy weasel!!!" As Alice leaves, furious, the Boss adds, "Maybe his hygiene isn't the best, but he was right when he said you would stab him in the back."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #pick up phone, #calling and calling, #fist of death, #gnawed, #wall to escape

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bathrobe, #30% raise, #dont quit, #terry cloth rebel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #story ever end, #purchase silence, #fist of death, #two warning system

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #assertive men, #woman, #b word, #boxer, #bitch, #fist of death, #fist in face

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice has a man stuck on her hand post fist of death. The boss says, "Alilce, it's okay for men to be assertive, but when a woman acts that way..." The boss says, "Well, it's the "b" word." Alice says, "Boxer?" The boss says, "O-o-okay."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #vacation days, #raise, #e, #ployees, #change vacation days, #permission, #more empowered

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #face time, #software, #man makes face, #imitating worker, #discourage from raise, #costs money, #discouraging, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Come in to the VP's office with me. you need to get some face time. Dilbert: What is Face Time? The Boss: Its very important. man: and this is you asking for a raise.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company saidst, #fist of death, #note from author, #big bag, #dumpster, #disclaimer, #nothing bad happened

View Transcript

Transcript

Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #perfromance evaluation, #3% raise, #earn a billion, #steals as much

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Write a performance evaluation for yourself." The Boss continues, "Shoot for about 3% raise...because that's what you're getting." Dilbert's computer states, "Dilbert's inventions will earn a billion dollars. But we think he steals almost as much."