Re Word Comic Strips - Page 6
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142 Results for Re Word
View 51 - 60 results for re word comic strips. Discover the best "Re Word" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 24,
1997
Tags spelled wrong, technical recommendation, boss doubts dilbert, obver shoulder, computer, technology
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I studied your technical recommendation and decided it's impossible." Dilbert replies, "I already did it." The Boss says, "It will never work." Dilbert replies, "It's working perfectly." The Boss points to the document and says, "You spelled this word wrong." Dilbert says, "That's a number."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday April 24,
1997
Tags Catbert, evil hr director, discriminated against, family emergencies, ratted out boss, family friendly policy, love family
Transcript
Alice sits in a chair and Catbert sits on a couch. Alice says, "I'm being discriminated against because I take time off for family emergencies." Catbert replies, "I'll handle this by telling your boss that you ratted him out to the Director of Human Resources." Alice says, "I thought we had a 'Family Friendly' policy." Catbert says, "The key word is FRIENDLY. You've been acting as if you LOVE your family."
Saturday December 27,
1997
Tags wally the role model, art sarcasm, bosses own word, disciplined for insubordination, lips, resources, adding value, would be delighted
Transcript
Wally says to Asok, "There's an art to sarcasm, Asok." Wally says, "If you use your boss's own words, you can't be disciplined for insubordination." Wally points to his puckered lips and says, "And do this with your lips." At a meeting, Asok puckers his lips and says to The Boss, "Today I focused my resources on adding value to the product process. Our shareholders would be delighted to know that."
Sunday October 31,
1993
Tags restaurant, Dilbert, Dogbert, waitress
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the waitress, ". . . And no onions." The waitress replies, "Very good, sir." Dilbert hands her the menu and says, "You didn't write it down. You aren't even intending to get it right." The server replies, "This way there's no incriminating paper trail . . . Just your word against mine." The waitress glares at Dilbert and says, "When you complain about getting the wrong meal I'll look at you like this." The waitress continues, "Then I'll roll my eyes, causing you to wonder whether you misspoke when you ordered." The waitress continues, "I'll offer to replace the meal but you know that will take forever and also come out wrong." The waitress laughs hysterically. The waitress asks Dogbert, "And for you?" Dogbert says, "Number five, hold the demonic hatred."
Sunday November 14,
1993
Tags the boss, Dilbert, business meeting, performance review
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "So, what have you accomplished this year?" Dilbert thinks, "I hate performance reviews." Dilbert replies, "Well, I used my empowerment to create a new paradigm." Dilbert continues, "And I teamed across functional boundaries to improve quality." Dilbert continues, "I dare say I was customer-focused and market-driven!" Dilbert holds his arms out and says, "I proactively found excellence in the midst of chaos!" Dilbert continues, "I re-engineered my core processes and embraced change!" Dilbert stands up and bows. He says, "I give you - Dilbert - the perfect employee!" The Boss asks, "Was that sarcasm?" Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I don't know either."
Tuesday October 13,
1998
Tags teach elbonians, cobol, reschedule, send wally, dilbert doesn't know cobol
Transcript
Dilbert stands with The Boss. Dilbert's arms are raised in anger. Dilbert says, "Why are sending ME to teach cobol to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows cobol, not me." The Boss says, "Wally said he's busy that day." Dilbert says, "Can't you reschedule the class." The Boss says, "Okay... does tomorrow work for you?" Dilbert raises his clenched fists. Dilbert says, "YOU"RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!"
Thursday December 03,
1998
Tags sabotaged, global conspiracy, plant misspelled work, spell checker, webster
Transcript
Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina says, "What the...? I've been sabotaged!" Tina stands with her arms crossed behind Wally. Wally says, "No, I'm not part of a global conspiracy to plant a misspelled word in your "spell checker". Tina holds an open dictionary. Tina says, "GASP! They got to Webster too!!"
Sunday May 29,
1994
Tags Promotion, director, engineering group, assignment, fire them all, eliminate, passing off, dirty work, promotion for nothing
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, I'm promoting you to Director of the Engineering Quality Group!" Wally: "Yes!" "Wait a minute. I thought you were going to eliminate that group." The Boss: "Your assignment is to fire them all." Wally: "Aaagh! That will be hideous!" "And when I'm done you won't need a director. Then you'll fire me!" The Boss: "You have my word that I will not fire you." Dilbert: "Hi, guys." The Boss: "That would be a job for Executive Director Dilbert."
Sunday April 07,
1996
Tags boss zone, no time, no logic, urgent work, relax, work smarter, not harder, angel of cynicism, inspirational moral, freedom, not caring, quality of work
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Go home, Dilbert. Relax! You're working too hard!" Dilbert sits at his desk and says, "You told me to finish this by tomorrow. You said it's urgent." The Boss waves his arms and says, "Relax! Go home! Shoo!" The caption says, "Suddenly Dilbert is sucked into the 'Boss Zone' where time and logic do not apply." Dilbert's head disappears into a hole in time. Dilbert floats by the Boss's head and asks, "How can I relax AND do urgent work at the same time?" The Boss replies, "Work smarter, not harder." Dilbert grabs his head and screams. The caption says, "Mercifully, the angel of cynicism appears." Dogbert flies up to Dilbert and says, "Slap something together in the morning. He won't look at it anyway." The caption says, "The inspirational moral . . ." Dilbert puts his coat on and leaves the office. He sings, "Freedom's just another word for not caring about the quality of your work!"
Sunday November 30,
1997
Tags interesting presentation, spies, slides, new prodcut, kills mold, mildew, software, placebo effect, stunned silence, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."