Reading Documents Comic Strips - Page 6
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246 Results for Reading Documents
View 51 - 60 results for reading documents comic strips. Discover the best "Reading Documents" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 09,
2020
Mind Reading
Tags business, judge, ruling, gavel, proof, thoughts, unfair, mind, reading
Transcript
court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday February 23,
2020
Reading Faces
Tags business, meeting, corrupt, communists, technology, proposal, reading faces
Transcript
co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.
Friday September 09,
2011
Tags keep brain out, laziness, long and complicated, technical recommendation, thinking, make decision
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.
Friday March 30,
2012
Tags dieting & weight control, funerals, bereavement policy, days off, dies young, grocery shop, conflict
Transcript
Carol: I've been reading our bereavement policy and I found a problem. I get three days off if my husband eats nothing but unhealthy food and dies young. And I'm the one who does our grocery shopping. Boss: Sounds like a conflict of interest. Carol: I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it.
Monday April 24,
1989
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox reading an invitation. Dilbert says, "Great! The engineer's ball is black tie this year." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I will be renting a tuxedo for the ball, and I would like it if you could keep any snide comments to yourself." Dogbert says, "Gosh. Even I wouldn't make fun of a guy who would pay sixty-five bucks to wear borrowed pants."
Saturday June 03,
1989
Tags money, pet, question, animals
Transcript
Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."
Monday June 19,
1989
Tags baked products, science, flour, lab
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the paper. Dogbert enters wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dogbert says, "We're out of flour." Dilbert replies, "I know." Dogbert asks, "And did you know that the bag of white powder in your lab looks just like flour?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Dogbert continues, "And you know how huge, mutated cupcakes will occasionally eat the neighbor's Chevy?" Dilbert says, "This better be a bad analogy."
Saturday July 15,
1989
Saturday August 19,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, calculate, bingo, barry manilow, carnegie hall, nbc, event, invention, burp
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My new invention can calculate the odds of any event." Dogbert asks, "What are the odds that I care?" Dilbert looks at the device he is holding and says, "Hmm . . . It says 'Same as the odds of being asked to burp the greatest hits of Barry Manilow at Carnegie Hall . . .'" Dilbert continues reading the display, "'. . . And having NBC buy the story rights and turn it into a docudrama.'" Dogbert says, "Bingo."
Monday November 20,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, editorial, congressmen, illegal, criminals
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Here's an interesting editorial . . ." Dilbert continues, "This guy says we should increase the pay of congressmen to remove incentive for them to engage in illegal acts." Dogbert says, "By that theory, criminals aren't bad, just underpaid."