Real Comic Strips - Page 6

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188 Results for Real

View 51 - 60 results for real comic strips. Discover the best "Real" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, managers & supervisors, company policy, rate staff, no upper body strength, real reason, business

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Boss: Company policy says I have to rate one-third of my staff as "Does not meet expectations." I chose the two of you because you have no upper body strength. This way it's safer if you go berzerk. I thought you said I should tell them the reason I picked them. Catbert: Not the real reason.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new idea, dream, 3d glasses, for real life, people love 3d, not movies, obvious, ideas

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CEO: Last night, an idea for a new product came to me in a dream. Dilbert: ICK CEO: 3-D Glasses. Dilbert: To watch movies? CEO: No, real life. Dilbert: So...The glasses would make life in general appear three-dimensional? CEO: Exactly! People Love 3-D Stuff. Dilbert: Im not going to respond to your idea. Im just going to sit here looking three-dimensional. CEO: wait....how are you doing that? Dilbert: Im wearing glasses that make me look 3-D

Dogbert's Pep Talk

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Dogbert's Pep Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, virtual, forget, real, people, inadequate, talk

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Dilbert: I'm worried that if I spend too much time using virtual reality, I'll forget how to talk to real people. Dogbert: I doubt you could get more boring and inadequate than you already are.

Parody Or Real

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Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, sarcasm, technology, boss, business, department, proposal, reality, parody, inversion

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dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, business, scheme, power, costs, mind, reader, psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

Real Data

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Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, facts

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Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Karma Is Real

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Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, managers & supervisors, business, team, karma, name, new, team member, hide, face mask

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dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.

Real Men Multitask

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Real Men Multitask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, software, software design, concentrate, multitask, distraction, kill, error

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boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.

Bigot In Your Mind

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Bigot In Your Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, boss, marriage, avoid, bigot, mind, self-deception, real world, Win, hire

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boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?

Perfect Skin

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Perfect Skin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags perfect skin, digital filter, panda, perfect, real, fake, ears, snout, personal appearance

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dilbert in front of laptop: your skin looks so perfect...are you using a digital filter of some sort? voice from laptop: no, this is the real me. frame changes to panda in pink dress in front of laptop. dilbert's voice from laptop: and what about the panda ears and snout? panda thinking: awkward