Recount War Stories Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for recount war stories comic strips. Discover the best "Recount War Stories" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flunking all classes, #son, #computer job, #fill in blanks, #people don't like

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Dilbert is standing in front of Carol the Secretary's desk. She says to him, "My son is flunking all his classes. I'm hoping he can get a job involving computers." Dilbert asks, "Carrying them?" Back home, at the end of the day, Dilbert confesses to Dogbert, "People don't like it when you fill in the blanks in their stories."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #important document, #signed petition, #nobel peace prize, #sip, #trade ya

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Ratbert says to Bob, the dinosaur, "Bob, I hold in my hands the most important document ever created." Ratbert continues, "It's a signed petition to end war. I expect to win the Nobel Peace Prize for this." Ratbert asks Bob, "May I have a sip of that?" Bob replies, "Trade ya."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonians, #classified ad, #nuclear war head, #russian craftsmanship, #third world countries, #slingshot, #hundred yards

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Two Elbonians show up at Dilbert's house door. Dogbert opens. An Elbonian says, "We saw your classified ad for a nuclear warhead." Dogbert says, "It's genuine Russian craftsmanship, ideal for menacing other third-world countries." An Elbonian responds, "Sweet." An Elbonian holds the warhead and says, "Our slingshot can fling this a hundred yards. Is that enough?" Dogbert looks at their briefcase full of money and says, "That's plenty."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #customer success, #closest things, #complaint letters, #few words, #kick to kiss, #change context, #reviews, #technology

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"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social situtaion, #ambiguous tight lipped smile, #look away

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"Uh-oh. It's a gray area social situation." "Do I know this guy well enough to say hi, or do I look away?" "So I went with an ambiguous tight-lipped smile that could be confused with a stomach ache." "Your stories suck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #response to letter, #apologize, #admits error, #starting war, #mean spirit, #hating minorities

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Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia bid, #nuclear war head, #plans, #internet, #few things modified, #ginat toaster, #enriched bread, #technology

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"We won the Elbonia bid, but I had to promise we'd give them plans to build a nuclear warhead." "Don't worry. I got the plans off the Internet and I modified a few things." "Now all we need is some highly enriched bread."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #specter, #unpaid overtime, #grim reaper, #hit by rake, #happened once, #insulted wife

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Then I was visited by the Specter of Unpaid Overtime. He hit me with his rake because he's trying to become a grim reaper. "Hee hee!!" "I just realized that I only enjoy your stories when they involve you getting hit by a rake." "That only happened once." "I plan to tell the gardener that you insulted his wife."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"If you hire me as your lobbyist I will convince Switzerland to attack Elbonia." $ "When the war begins, your sales of Kevlar Lederhosen will skyrocket!" "It's not as bad as it sounds. Elbonians believe that if they die fighting a neutral country, their souls get candy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #stories of woe, #no tv or internet, #carving canoe, #woman runs out

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My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"