Reduce Decisions Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

164 Results for Reduce Decisions

View 51 - 60 results for reduce decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.

How To Reduce Turnover

Thank you for voting.
How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #interviews, #managers, #dumb decions, #particpate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm doing a study to find out which managers make dumb decisions. Would you like to participate? Boss: I don't see why not. Dogbert: And we're done.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #job interview, #work long hours, #14 hour days, #bad descions, #bad decision maker, #good communicator

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #technical details, #idea, #deciosns, #people involved, #pale and poorly dressed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #smart people, #bad deciosns, #hubris, #prime candidate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've read that smart people make bad decisions because of their hubris. Catbert: Hubris? What is that? Boss: Beats me. But obviously I'm a prime candidate to get it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #big business, #budget, #contract employees, #training budget, #training, #contractor budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #calendars, #desk, #meails, #meetings, #padtes, #schdeules, #secretary, #coordinates

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #attend presentation, #authorized, #poor notes, #wasting time, #right meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pencil, #excalibert, #sharpener, #corporate, #legend, #ceo, #grovel

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says to Dilbert, "You did it! You removed the pencil 'Excalibert' from the sharpener." The caption says, "As corporate legend required, Dilbert became CEO." Dilbert holds Excalibert and three men bow to him. The caption says, "He immediately set about the task of making important decisions." A woman hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's the list of people who didn't grovel sufficiently."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #prisoners, #warden, #jail, #profitable, #executed, #costs, #joke of the day, #program

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several men in bathrobes and slippers. Dogbert says, "Attention, prisoners! This is Warden Dogbert speaking!" Dogbert continues, "My jail has not been profitable. I've decided to have you all executed to reduce operating costs." Dogbert walks away thinking, "The 'Joke of the Day' program seems wasted on these people."