Remove Watch Comic Strips - Page 6
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Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!
Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.
Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?
Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.
dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.
dilbert: i have a feeling you are doing something wrong, but i don't know what. do you mind if i watch over your shoulder and look for mistakes as you make them? coworker: you don't have friends, do you? dilbert: i like to travel light.
Asok says, "To answer your question faster, I'll need to use the two halves of my brain like dual core processors." Asok says, "I'm only warning you because it might be disconcerting to watch." Woman says, "How bad could it be?" Asok says, "Wah-ah-geeee!" Woman says, "Maybe you can e-mail me your answer."