Repeat Business Comic Strips - Page 6
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1000 Results for Repeat Business
View 51 - 60 results for repeat business comic strips. Discover the best "Repeat Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 30,
1995
Tags #mandatory training, #business ethics, #save money, #training, #decorate offcie, #taken training, #common sense
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Have you taken the mandatory training for business ethics?" Dilbert answers, "No. But if you SAY I did then you'll save some money on training which you can spend to decorate your office." The Boss says, "Luckily, I haven't taken the training myself." Dilbert says, "I hear it's mostly common sense anyway."
Thursday June 29,
1995
Tags #dogbert the consultant, #nobody likes prodcuts, #ix that, #internal business units, #don't like boss
Transcript
Dogbert tells the Boss, "One way to look at your problem is that nobody likes your products." Dogbert continues, "But I don't know how to fix that. So I recommend forming internal business units to bicker with each other." The Boss asks, "Why would you recommend that?" Dogbert responds, "Well, I'd be lying if I said I liked you."
Friday June 30,
1995
Tags #Advice, #dogbert consulting comapny, #business units, #cross cahrging, #undermining, #comepotition, #healthy, #janitorial
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points to a diagram on an overhead projector and says, "We're going to follow the advice of the Dogbert Consulting Company and form 'Battlin' Business Units.'" The Boss continues, "We'll spend most of our time cross-charging and undermining the other BBU's." Wally comments, "A little competition is healthy." The Boss adds, "Whatever you do, DON'T tick off the janitorial BBU."
Saturday July 01,
1995
Tags #dogbert the consultant, #took adice, #formed buisness, #compmay, #spend time fighting, #guarantee future business, #expired
Transcript
The Boss says to Dogbert, "We took your advice and formed business units within the company . . ." As Wally and another employee fight with each other in the background, the Boss continues, "Now we spend all of our time fighting with each other about who does what." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What exactly did you mean when you said it would 'guarantee future business?'" Dogbert says, "Oh look - my contract just expired."
Friday July 14,
1995
Tags #business cards, #full title, #director, #product enhancemnets, #acronym dope, #product ehancement
Transcript
The Boss says to his secretary who sits at her desk, "Carol, the next time you order my business cards, spell out my full title: 'Director of Product Enhancements.'" The Boss continues, "Don't use the acronym 'DOPE.'" The secretary replies, "I didn't know you were the Director of Product Enhancements."
Wednesday August 09,
1995
Tags #alice, #casual friday, #tan pants, #business casual, #unattractive, #unorofessional, #fashion opinion, #engineer matters
Transcript
Alice walks past Wally's cubicle. Wally says, "Well, it wouldn't be Friday if I didn't see Alice wearing her one pair of tan pants." Wally continues, "I love the 'business casual' look for the way it combines unattractive with unprofessional while diminishing neither." Alice responds, "Do you think the fashion opinion of a male engineer matters to me??" Dilbert enters wearing the same print shirt and pants as Alice. Dilbert yells, "Twins!"
Monday October 30,
1995
Tags #headquarters, #chucks looking unhappy, #big guy, #bad decisions, #some bodies, #changes will allow, #core business
Transcript
The caption says, "Headquarters." Three executives sit at a conference table. One says to the man next to him, "Hey, Chuck's looking unhappy today. What's the problem, big guy?" Chuck says, "All of my bad decisions are catching up to me. Could we do another reorg to cover my tracks?" The third executive says, "Yeah, I've got some bodies to bury, too." Back at the office, the Boss reads a document aloud to Dilbert and Wally, ". . . These changes will allow us to focus on our core business." Wally walks away saying, "Whoa! Let me get my reorg boots."
Tuesday October 31,
1995
Tags #focus core bsuiness, #core business change, #misdirected failure, #car gets flat, #rotate tires, #drive home
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss, "I don't understand how the new reorganization will help us 'focus on our core business.'" Wally continues, "Did our core business change? Or are you saying that EVERY reorg prior to this was a misdirected failure?" The Boss asks hypothetically, "Wally, when a car gets a flat tire, what do you do?" Wally answers, "Well, if I'm you, I rotate the tires and drive home."
Friday December 22,
1995
Tags #business plans fail, #realistic goal, #manage spectacular failures, #promoted first, #most cycnical
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Most business plans fail. Obviously, success is not a realistic goal." Dogbert continues, "But the people who manage the most spectacular failures get promoted first because of their experience." Dilbert says, "That is the most cynical thing I've ever heard in my life!" Dogbert replies, "Thanks. I'm blushing."
Tuesday March 12,
1996
Tags #product idea, #quit, #start business, #run new company, #cucbilces, #immoral, #people already in hell
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."