Ride Market Research Comic Strips - Page 6

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220 Results for Ride Market Research

View 51 - 60 results for ride market research comic strips. Discover the best "Ride Market Research" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert research, #small dog, #with glasses, #bureau of dogs, #50 dollars, #file complaint

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Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "First question: What would you losers do if a small dog with glasses took advantage of you?" A man shakes his fist and says, "We would complain to the... um... whoever handles that sort of thing!" The woman says, "Yeah!" The man shows up at the "Bureau of Dogs." He says to Dogbert, who sits behind a desk earing a turban, "It costs fifty bucks to file a complaint?" Dogbert says, "And ten bucks to borrow a pen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #pressure makes diamonds, #garbage more compact, #slogans, #meeting, #strong job market, #engineers, #irritation makes perals, #pressure makes whine, #business

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Our new slogan is Pressure Makes Diamonds." Wally sits to one side. Wally says,"How about Pressure Makes Garbage More Compact? I wonder if that one is taken." Dilbert looks on as The Boss frowns. The Boss walks out followed by Wally, who says, "Irritation Makes Pearls. Or maybe Pressure Makes Whine." The Boss thinks, "I hate this strong job market for engineers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project staus, #budget cuts, #new prodcut, #user interface, #target market, #too shy, #bad sign, #no laws, #do for living

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Project Status: Dilbert is giving a presentation. He points to the overhead projection. He says, "Due to budget cuts, our new product will have no user interface." The projection shows a blank computer monitor. Dilbert continues, "Our target market is people who are too shy to return products." The projection is of a person blushing. Dilbert comes home carrying his brief case. He says to Dogbert, "Is it a bad sign if you spend the day wondering why there are no laws against what you do for a living?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #strange dream, #alice, #research, #someone else dream, #graose, #seedless, #science

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Alice goes to sit down at the conference table. She says, "I had a strange dream last night." Bob says, "Research has shown that nothing is less interesting than hearing about someone's dream." Alice says, "..But this was no ordinary grape. It was a seedless!" Bob covers his ears and yells, "My brain is gnawing its way out!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #marketing dept, #brochures, #new prodcut, #dominate market, #sales, #don't make product, #business

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Bob hands Dilbert something and says, "The marketing department saves the day! Check out these brochures I made." Bob reports, "This new product will allow us to dominate the market!" Dilbert says, "But we don't make this product." Bob says, "That hasn't hurt our sales so far."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #company strategy, #wandering cubcilem, #first to market

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Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss won't tell me our company's strategy." Dilbert says, "So I spend my days wandering from cubicle to cubicle, trying to deduce the strategy." Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "So far I've ruled out 'First to market.'" Wally responds, "And premiere anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the consultant, #target market, #gullible moron, #commercials, #sincere actor

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Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert stands on the conference table. Dogbert holds a pointer. Dogbert says, "Our target market is the gullible moron segment." Dogbert points at a television. Dogbert says, "Our commercials will feature an actor who seems sincere." The actor on the TV says, "I care about the rain forest... and you." A couple sits on the couch and watches TV. The voice from the television says, "I like kittens... and you." The man says, "Wow.. we made it into his top two."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #microsoft headquarters, #misspelled word, #spell checking software, #market power, #new word industry

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Caption: "Microsoft Headquarters" A preppy man stands in front of a large desk. The person behind the desk (Bill Gates) can't be seen. Preppy man says, "We misspelled a word in our spellchecking software." Gates says, "You know what to do." Preppy man says, "Um.. use our market power to make the new word an industry standard?" Bill Gates says, "And....?" Preppy man says, "Kill myself as an example to others?" Gates says, "In our booth at "Comdex"."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #research dept, #study, #value of research, #just lie, #no research, #industry salaries, #two oclock, #quitting time, #role model

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Alice sits next to The Boss and a mandattan place.. The Boss points out, "Our special guest is Tod, from our researced paper." Tod says, "We recently did a study to access the value of our previous research." Tod hands out papers and says, "Sadly, all of our past work was either ignoed or totally misintrepreted by idiots.." Tod says, ".. such as yoursleves." Tod says, "So from now on, rather that do research we''ll just lie. Tod says, "Play along and and we'll make sure the 'industry salaries' study goes your way." Tod says, "Well, it's two o'clock, and that's quitting time in the research department." Wally tells Dilbert, "" You're not my role mdoel anymore!"