Right Thing Comic Strips - Page 6
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1000 Results for Right Thing
View 51 - 60 results for right thing comic strips. Discover the best "Right Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 22,
1999
Tags #successful project, #job eliminated, #smartest thing, #fail miserably, #clear strategy
Transcript
A woman (Tina ?) stands in the boss's office. She says, "I just realized that if my project is a success, my job will be eliminated." She says, "The smartest thing to do is to fail miserably and blame it all on your indecisiveness." She says, "I'm happy because I have a clear strategy!" The boss thinks, "I haven't nodded in a while."
Friday July 02,
1999
Tags #ground, #static, #doorstop
Transcript
Alice is unpacking a logic board. The Boss approaches and says, "You want to see an excellent trick I taught myself?" The Boss reaches out with his finger to the logic board. He says, "If I shuffle my feet, I can make a tiny spark with my finger." The Boss is leaning in front of a door and thinks, "She's right; this thing does make an excellent doorstop."
Wednesday December 27,
2000
Tags #avoid work, #faking coma, #punch repeatedly, #get alice, #right or left handed
Transcript
Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"
Sunday December 20,
1998
Tags #direction signs, #conference, #arrow, #pointing right, #need pointing left, #spooky, #flipped sign
Transcript
The Boss leans into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We have a problem." The Boss holds up a cutout arrow and says, "I ordered these direction signs for our conference tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow in front of him and says, "But they all point to the right. I need left arrows." The Boss asks, "Is it too late to change the site of the conference to match the arrows?" Dilbert thinks and says, "Well, that would put us in the middle of a lake." Dilbert continues, "I guess we could get a helicopter to built a deep- water platform hotel...by tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow and says, "Okay, but get to bids." He turns the arrow, and it now points to the left. He looks down and says, "What?" The Boss walks out of the cubicle carrying the arrow and staring at it. He says, "Spooky."
Thursday January 18,
2001
Tags #ad agency, #wise to insult, #monirotity groups, #commercial, #worst thing, #spit on flag, #difficult client list
Transcript
THE AD AGENCY: The Boss asks Pete Peters of the Creative Team, "Is it wise to insult all of these minority groups in our commercial?" Pete says to The Boss, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" The Boss asks, "Does our company have to spit on a flag?" Pete says, "That's it; you're on my 'difficult client' list now."
Wednesday February 28,
2001
Tags #always right, #arrogance, #management training, #punished, #two rules, #customer
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"
Saturday May 19,
2001
Tags #date, #complain, #all night, #called a loser, #personality, #one thing, #complaint, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert returns home from his date and says to Dogbert, "My date complained about her life all night long!" Dilbert continues, "But I complain about just ONE thing and she calls ME a loser." Dogbert asks, "Did you complain about her personality?" Dilbert replies, "That's ONE thing!"
Thursday September 27,
2001
Tags #illegal to clone humans, #frame clone, #for crime, #same thing to me, #immoral
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Yes, the technology to clone you exists, but it's illegal to clone humans." The Boss responds, "If the cops find out, we can frame my clone for the crime." Dilbert replies, "That is so wrong." The Boss responds, "Why? He'd do the same thing to me!"
Tuesday January 08,
2002
Tags #downsized, #info, #last day, #projects, #right away, #soon enough, #90 days
Transcript
The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Here are some projects to finish before your last day." Dilbert responds, "But.. I'll have to interact with people who know I've been downsized." The Boss replies, "Hee Hee!" A coworker mocks Dilbert, "I'll get this information to you right away. Is ninety days soon enough?"
Wednesday October 16,
2002
Tags #eat lunch, #few typos, #launch prodcut, #new prodcut, #other thing, #marketing, #business
Transcript
Wally is sleeping on his keyboard. His computer makes noises, "Click Click Send." Headline: Marketing. An employee in the marketing department says to his coworker, "Someone named Wally is telling us to launch the new product." The employee continues, "Or it might say to eat lunch with a penguin. It has a few typos." The coworker replies, "I already ate, so let's do the other thing."