Right Winger Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

674 Results for Right Winger

View 51 - 60 results for right winger comic strips. Discover the best "Right Winger" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cartoonists, #ventriloquism, #writing, #hand puppet, #data overload, #ridiculous, #poorly written story, #case closed

View Transcript

Transcript

Police says, "We have a report of a pointy-haired boss being stunned by data overload, stuffed, and used as a hand puppet." Alice says, "That's ridiculous. It sounds like the plot of a poorly written story arc." Police says, "It sounds poorly drawn too." Alice says, "Case closed, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contracts, #relations between the sexes, #Women, #ignorantly signed, #legal strategy, #affadavit, #attractive women, #have cooties

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #using company gym, #60 hrs week, #paying for itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #mobile (cell) phones, #telephones, #rings after 4pm, #caller id blocked, #ignore call, #email, #horrible issue, #hate life, #torture coworker

View Transcript

Transcript

Noise: Ring. Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's never good when my phone rings after 4 pm. Caller ID is blocked. Someone must know that I would ignore the call if I knew who it was. If it weren't urgent, it would be email. This must be some sort of horrible issue that will cause me to work all night. It stopped. There's still a chance that I'll be okay unless my cell phone... Noise: Bzzzz. Dilbert: GAAAA!! I hate my life! Alice: You're right. That was funny. Wally: Now I'll text him.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #conversation, #reflexive urge, #diagree, #counter point, #software can't be changed

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Everything you said is right, but I have a reflexive urge to disagree with you. If you don't mind, I'm going to make a ridiculous counterpoint just to get it out of my system. Dilbert: Okay, but don't be creepy about it. Man: Software can't be changed. Ahhhh... that's good.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #discussion, #ognorant, #arrogant, #reading comprehension, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your email was ignorant and arrogant. Dilbert: How do you know it isn't just a reading comprehension problem on your end? Let's use logic to see which one of us is right. Bad decision 2. Bad decision 3.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #stress, #creative, #ethical shortcuts, #less honest, #questions, #uncomfortable, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview Alice: Are you creative? Man: Oh, yes. I'm very creative. Alice: Research tells us that creative people take ethical shortcuts and are generally less honest. Man: Ooh. Alice: Do you take a long time to do things? Man: I don't know the right answer!