The Boss: Where's the career criminal I hired to do tech support? He was last seen talking to you.
Alice: Rumor has it that someone murdered him, covered him in with-out and tried to pass him off as a statue in the lobby.
Dilbert: I would report this if it did't look so darned good here.
boss to catbert: the secret to being a great manager is hiring people who are smarter than you are. then you have to take credit for their successes so they don't take your job. i also find it helpful to start rumors that they steal.