Says Thanks Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for says thanks comic strips. Discover the best "Says Thanks" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #improvements, #ridicule, #ignoring

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The boss says, ""Thanks for the suggestion. I will think about it and get back to you." Tina says, "Why do I have the feeling that you are actively forgetting my suggestion as I stand here?" Tina said, "Your head is where ideas go to die." The boss thinks, "I like pie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selling, #failure, #winning: models, #product, #options

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Asok says, "Our product comes with 27 moedels with over 9,000 options." Dilbert says, "Given my limited time to study the options, you have guaranteed that I will make a sub-optimal choice." Dilbert says, "Thanks for making me a failure." Asok says, Well it's not really "selling" if we both win."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #users want, #supply and emnad, #idiot, #managing, #work harder, #earn less money, #fire me, #obvious things

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The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #slide show, #test, #waste of time, #arms out, #angry, #cranky, #data, #business

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Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #work-life balance, #implies life is impirtant, #work-life intergration, #big thanks, #never had a life

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Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #sad, #story, #renowned, #monkey, #trainer, #beautiful, #discovered, #kidnapped, #wife, #leader, #sing, #song, #laughing, #thanks

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Dogbert sits at his desk under a sign that says, "I will listen to your sad story $5.00." A man enters and says, "I have a sad story." Dogbert says, "Sit down." The man continues, "I was a world renowned monkey trainer." The man continues, "I had it all: fame, money, beautiful family." The man continues, "Then I discovered that the monkeys were plotting against me." The man continues, "They embezzled all of my money and kidnapped my wife." The man covers his eyes and says, "Then my wife fell in love with their leader, Bing-Bong." Dogbert laughs. The man asks, "Were you laughing?" Dogbert hands money to the man and says, "Here's my five bucks. Thanks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #rented car, #car, #sympathy, #muster

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Dilbert, whose arm is in a sling, says to Dogbert, "I got hit by a rented car." Dogbert asks, "Hertz?" Dilbert replies, "Not any more, but thanks for asking." Dogbert says as he walks away, "That's about all the sympathy I can muster for one day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #animal, #behavior, #hugged, #mom, #charging, #pet, #dates, #disasters, #touch, #somebody, #session, #doc

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Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #morale, #building, #experiment, #slap, #fly swatter, #feel, #better

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss stands behind him holding a fly swatter. The Boss says, "Hold still. I'm going to try a morale-building experiment." The Boss slaps Dilbert on the back of his head. The Boss walks away saying, "Thanks. I feel a lot better." Dilbert looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #tuition, #leverage, #paid, #alice, #tipping

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Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."