Scratch Out Meager Living Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Scratch Out Meager Living

View 51 - 60 results for scratch out meager living comic strips. Discover the best "Scratch Out Meager Living" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feel for engineers, #tired of pretty boys, #appreciate dancing, #exotic dancing, #passion, #phyiscs, #scratch ear, #can't get enough

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in the park wearing a jogging suit and with his arms crossed. He looks mad. Dogbert sits witha cute girl. She says, "until I met you, Dogbert, I always fell for engineers." The girl pets Dogbert. She says, "But I'm tired of pretty boys. i want a guy who will appreciate my exotic dancing as much as my passion for physics." Dilbert starts sobbing. Dogbert says, "Scratch under this ear for a minute." The girl lifts his ear and says, "Sure. I can't get enough touching."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #earnings, #handle investments, #maxed out, #money, #relax, #retire, #risk, #strangers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a chair at a financial planner's office. The planner says, "We can handle your investments so you can retire and live off the earnings." The planners holds a long contract that covers his desk. He says, "Just sign this incomprehensible contract, hand all your money to total strangers and relax!" Dogbert's ears fly up as he looks at the contract. The planners says, "We'll need to know what your tolerance for risk is." Dogbert says, "I think I just maxed out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle police, #living organisms, #stack of paper

View Transcript

Transcript

A policeman with a watchdog says to Wally, "I'm with the cubicle police. This is a safety violation. He points to a huge stack of papers. Wally says, "It's perfectly safe unless you tap it with a flashlight or a dog jumps on it." The stack of paper collapses on the cop and his little dog, too. Dilbert says, "This plays right into my theory that cubicles are living organisms."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project staus, #budget cuts, #new prodcut, #user interface, #target market, #too shy, #bad sign, #no laws, #do for living

View Transcript

Transcript

Project Status: Dilbert is giving a presentation. He points to the overhead projection. He says, "Due to budget cuts, our new product will have no user interface." The projection shows a blank computer monitor. Dilbert continues, "Our target market is people who are too shy to return products." The projection is of a person blushing. Dilbert comes home carrying his brief case. He says to Dogbert, "Is it a bad sign if you spend the day wondering why there are no laws against what you do for a living?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #speaks with author, #Comic Strip, #burned out, #funny everyday, #books, #media, #speaking, #book signing, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "At the conference" Dilbert gets the cartoonist signing line. He tells cartoonist, "I liked your talk about your comic strip. Do you fell burned out?" Cartoonist hands signed book back to Dilbert who says, "You have to be funny every day. Then there are the books, the media, the speaking. So much stress.." Cartoonist has now run off.. People behind Dilbert are aannoyed. Dilbert says, "Oops."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company cellular, #dropped in john, #fish it out, #pager fell, #array of tools, #glasses, #toilet, #all needs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I need a replacement for my company cellular phone." "I dropped mine in the...John." The Boss: "Again?? Why don't you reach in and fish it out?" Dilbert: "I tried, but then my pager fell in too." The Boss: "Reach in and get them both." Dilbert: "I tried, of course, but when my vast array of writing tools fell in they kind of wedged..." The Boss: "Try it again!!!" Dogbert: "Where are your glasses?" Dilbert: "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #son-of_a_boss, #simple prodcut, #mom can use, #hamster, #simple, #dumb, #leave mom out, #physicist

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Son-of-a-Boss Son-of-a-Boss spaeking with Alice, who is sitting at her computer terminal. Son-of-a-Boss says, "You have to make our product so simple that my mom could use it." Alice turns around and says, "It's already so simple a hamster could use it. How much dumber is your mom?" Son-of-a-Boss responds, "Maybe we should leave my mom out of this." Alice says, "MY mom is a physicist."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work nights, #work weekends, #quit, #clear out desk, #inspire, #boss tells engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We can only succeed if each of us works nights and weekends for a year!" Dilbert says, "I quit." Wally says, "I'll clear out my desk." Alice says, "Me too." Dilbert says, "Or was that supossed to inspire us?" Wally says, "Like I'd know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work too hard, #stressed out, #bored, #sumerging, #head in icy water, #list of compalints, #evil catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of Catbert. Alice says, "If I work too hard, I get stressed out. But if I don't work hard, I get bored." Catbert says, "I recommend submerging your head in icy water twice a day." Alice says, "Wouldn't that hurt?" Catbert says, "Is there no end to your list of complaints?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fill out form, #rules, #helpless, #defeated atitude, #excellent job, #quitting time, #useless form

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert follows Carol as she walks away. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "Why should I fill out this form? It would take an hour and it doesn't even apply to me." Carol says, "I don't make the rules. I just apply them with a helpless and defeated attitude." Dilbert says, "You're doing an excellent job." Carol looks at her watch and says, "Seven more hours until quitting time."